Pick the spot … 🤔🤫😱!

Whether memories of ‘stories you’ve heard of‘, rumours told by past teachers, or your own actual experiences: past “Issues” are being charted in this map.

From the updated aerial map of BBC’s layout, now is our chance to mark out WHERE ‘suspicious activity‘ happened?! This Toowong map has been trimmed to include the neighbouring borders of most of BBC. The yellow ball, accross from the P&F Oval, Miskin Oval and next to Oakman Park. Red ‘X’ mark locations of identified events: will be Updated ASAP!

Appearances can change, yet some memories can last forever


Image retrieved from Proposed Development at 23 Union St, TARINGA. (City Shape & The Urban Developer)


Childhood amnesia, also called infantile amnesia, is the inability of adults to retrieve episodic memories (memories of situations or events) before the age of two to four years, as well as the period before the age of ten of which adults retain fewer memories than might otherwise be expected given the passage of time.[1] The development of a cognitive self is also thought by some to have an effect on encoding and storing early memories.[2]

Some research has demonstrated that children can remember events from the age of one, but that these memories may decline as children get older.[3][4][5]Most psychologists differ in defining the offset of childhood amnesia. Some define it as the age from which a first memory can be retrieved. This is usually at the age of three or four, but it can range from two to eight years.[6][7][8]

Changes in encoding, storage and retrieval of memories during early childhood are all important when considering childhood amnesia.[9]


RETRIEVED

Wikipedia. (2020). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Childhood_amnesia

CityShape. (2020). https://app.cityshape.com.au/project-report/A005404132

Brisbane Boys’ College. (2020). https://www.bbc.qld.edu.au/join-us/visit-us/

The Urban Developer. (2020). https://theurbandeveloper.com/

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Support Services (Royal Commission)


Royal Commission understands that making contact with us can be very challenging for survivors.

Speaking out can be an important personal step, but it can also bring up mixed feelings such as relief, elation, disappointment and grief. Sometimes it can bring up strong emotions about the abuse you suffered, like anger, distress and fear.

It may be the first time you have told anyone about the abuse, or it may bring back memories which are very hard to deal with. If someone has supported you in the past you may find you may want to connect with them again for help.

Alternatively, if you need help to share your story or to cope with the feelings you are experiencing, a list of support services who can assist you is provided in this booklet.


TOWARDS RECOVERY

BLUE KNOT FOUNDATION FACT SHEET FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (INCLUDING ABUSE)

1 Childhood trauma stems from overwhelming negative experiences in early life. It can take many forms (eg. sexual,emotional,physicalabuseandneglect).Itcanalso occur without abuse if early caregivers were unable
to meet your emotional needs (e.g. because they had unresolved trauma histories themselves).

2 Unresolved childhood trauma negatively impacts 8 health and well-being in adulthood. It affects both emotional and physical health (the whole person’)
and the full impacts may not become apparent until
years later.

3 It is possible to heal from childhood trauma. Research shows that with the right support, even severe early life trauma can be resolved. It also shows that when an adult has resolved their childhood trauma, it benefits their children or the children they may later have.
Children develop coping mechanisms to deal with the effects of childhood trauma. It is normal to want to feel better, and if you were traumatised as a child the need to escape’ feelings can be intense.

4 Effects of childhood trauma include anxiety, depression, health problems (emotional and physical), disconnection, isolation, confusion, being ‘spaced out’, and fear of intimacy and new experiences. There 10 is no one size fits all’, but reduced quality of life is a constant.

5 Survivors are often on ‘high alert’. Even minor stress can trigger ‘out of proportion’ responses. Your body continues to react as if you are still in danger, and this can be explained in terms of unresolved prior experience.

6 Survivors often struggle with shame and self-blame. But childhood trauma and its established effects are NOT your fault, even though you may feel otherwise (often because this is what you were encouraged to believe as a child when you were vulnerable and still developing).

7 Self-blame can be especially strong if you experienced any positive physical sensations (which is not an uncommon body response) in relation to abuse you have undergone. Physical reaction to sexual abuse does NOT mean desire for, or agreement to, it. Children cannot consent to, much less ‘cause’, sexual or other forms of abuse.

8 Children develop coping mechanisms to deal with the effects of childhood trauma. It is normal to want to feel better, and if you were traumatised as a child the need to `escape’ feelings can be intense.

9 Coping mechanisms develop for a reason, serve a purpose, and can be highly effective in the short term. But some methods of coping (e.g. excessive alcohol use) can be risky in themselves. Addictions (to food, sex, drugs), avoidance of contact with others (which reinforces isolation) and compulsive behaviours of various kinds (in attempts to run from the underlying problem which, because it is unaddressed, doesn’t go away) are all ways people try to cope.

10 Coping mechanisms develop for a reason, serve a purpose, and can be highly effective in the short term. But some methods of coping (e.g. excessive alcohol use) can be risky in themselves. Addictions (to food, sex, drugs), avoidance of contact with others (which reinforces isolation) and compulsive behaviours of various kinds (in attempts to run from the underlying problem which, because it is unaddressed, doesn’t go away) are all ways people try to cope.

11 Coping mechanisms develop for a reason, serve a purpose, and can be highly effective in the short term. But some methods of coping (e.g. excessive alcohol use) can be risky in themselves. Addictions (to food, sex, drugs), avoidance of contact with others (which reinforces isolation) and compulsive behaviours of various kinds (in attempts to run from the underlying problem which, because it is unaddressed, doesn’t go away) are all ways people try to cope.

RETRIEVED https://www.blueknot.org.au/Portals/2/Fact%20Sheets%20Info/Fact_Sheet_Survivors.pdf

Child abuse

3-minute read Listen

Healthdirect Free Australian health advice you can count on.

If you believe a child is in immediate danger or in a life-threatening situation call 000. If you wish to report a child protection matter, contact the department responsible for child protection in your state or territory.

Child abuse is any behaviour that harms or could harm a child or young person, either physically or emotionally. It does not matter whether the behaviour is intentional or unintentional.

There are different types of child abuse, and many children experience more than one type:

  • Physical abuse: using physical force to deliberately hurt a child.
  • Emotional abuse: using inappropriate words or symbolic acts to hurt a child over time. 
  • Neglect: failing to provide the child with conditions needed for their physical and emotional development and wellbeing.
  • Sexual abuse: using a child for sexual gratification.
  • Exposure to family violence: when a child hears or sees a parent or sibling being subjected to any type of abuse, or can see the damage caused to a person or property by a family member’s violent behaviour.

Children are most often abused or neglected by their parents or carers of either sex. Sexual abuse is usually by a man known to the child — a family member, a friend or a member of the school or church community.

Child abuse can affect a child’s physical, psychological, emotional, behavioural and social development through to adulthood.

Recognising the signs of child abuse is important. There may be physical, emotional or behavioural signs such as:

  • broken bones or unexplained bruising, burns or welts
  • not wanting to go home
  • creating stories, poems or artwork about abuse
  • being hungry and begging, stealing or hoarding food

You should report suspected child abuse to the relevant authority in your state or territory, even if you are not certain it’s happening. This is called a notification.

Child protection systems vary depending on which state and territory you live in. This includes definitions of when a child requires protection and when authorities will intervene. 

Some occupations are legally required to report suspected cases of child abuse to government authorities. The laws are different between states and territories but the most common occupations are teachers, doctors, nurses and police.

Getting help

If you have hurt your child, or feel like you might hurt them, call Lifeline on 131 114.

If you are a child, teen or young adult who needs help and support, call the Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800

If you are an adult who experienced abuse as a child, call Blue Knot Helpline on 1300 657 380 or visit their website at www.blueknot.org.au/Helpline.

For more information on child abuse visit the Australian Institute of Family Studies website. 

Sources:

Australian Institute of Health and Welfare(Child protection), ReachOut.com(What is child abuse?), Kids Helpline(Homepage), Queensland Government(About child abuse), Australian Institute of Families(Reporting child abuse and neglect: Information for service providers), Blue Knot Foundation(For survivors of childhood trauma and abuse), Australian Institute of Families(What is child abuse and neglect?)

Learn more here about the development and quality assurance of healthdirect content.

Last reviewed: November 2018

RETRIEVED https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/child-abuse

Meetup closure + Power of Secrets!

Although the MeetUp Group ‘Brisbane Abuse Survivours Network’, now seems to have closed – we’re experiencing larger + wider impacts with this RCbbc Blog. The growth, interaction + time required by these RCbbc Blog pages continue to outweigh any more time + costs taken by running a MeetUp Group as well.

https://www.meetup.com/en-AU/

We’ve now achieved at least 1,124 Subscribers, the ongoing impact + support is filling in a much-needed gap. Particularly direct families continue to be a cause of many surviving-victims not coming forth, I’m now in a position that I’ve recently had a 3rd body start guiding one of my parents through my CSA mess. It’s not a solution, yet it does feel relieving to have an unresolved misunderstanding taken off my shoulders. Please seek help, through a Counsellor!

Secrecy has-does-will have a power over our lives. It always will, yet we each have that same control over it. This is where Predators/Abusers/Facilitators have taken advantage of their assumed targets, typically manipulating their unawareness of their own rights (maturity, trust + secrecy). ‘The Power of Secrets’ in PsychologyToday begins by stating that Secrets can divide people. “They deter relationships. And they freeze development on individuals.”

The Secret life of Families, Evan Imber-Black, Ph.D.

Power of Secrets contains titles of: HOW SECRETS SABOTAGE, SHATTERING THE TRIANGLE, ‘DON’T TELL ANYONE OUR BUSINESS’, BREAKING FAMILY RULES, ROOM FOR REHEARSAL, FROZEN FAMILIES + RESPECTING TRANSITION TIMES. So enthralling are these, I’ll try to repost the entire page ASAP.

From the book The Secret Life of Families by Evan IrabetBlack, Ph.D. Copyright 1998 by Evan Imber-Black. Reprinted by permission of Bantam Books, New York, New York. All rights reserved. Amazon Springer kobo

PHOTO (COLOR): Secrets are kept or opened for many reasons, from self-serving abuses of power to the protection of others. (Unavailable, yet text provided)

PHOTOS (COLOR): Family secrets are destructive and all families have some secrets from the outside world. Resist the temptation to handle them at transition times such as weddings, graduations, and new beginnings. (Unavailable, yet text provided)

BY EVAN IMBER-BLACK

RETRIEVED:

Coronavirus COVID-19: Why some people panic-buy and self-isolate while others aren’t worried

ABC Life / By Kellie Scott
We’re being told not to touch our face, but many of you might feel like hiding from the coronavirus.(Pexels: Anna Shvets/ABC Life: Luke Tribe)

Natalie has decided not to see her partner while the spread of the coronavirus in Australia continues.

The Mackay local in her 30s is symptom-free and has not had any known contact with an infected person, but is keeping her daughter home from school. She’s also stocked up on food and other supplies.

“My partner and I have different views … he isn’t taking the coronavirus seriously,” she says.

“We are not leaving the house, and because he is out there exposing himself in many ways, like going to the gym, I have had to make the choice not to have contact with the person I love.”

Natalie works from home, which it makes it easier for her to self-isolate. She’s asked her daughter’s school to provide homework, and plans to reassess the situation in a few weeks’ time.

“It’s putting a little strain on our relationship, but we’re trying to respect each other’s decisions and wait it out.”

As humans we all react to crisis differently, so it’s unlikely we’ll ever be in complete agreeance about an appropriate emotional response to the coronavirus pandemic.

What we can do is be more compassionate about where other people are coming from.

We asked the experts why are some of us stocking up on toilet paper and hand sanitiser, while others scroll social media wondering what the all the fuss is about.

How is coronavirus impacting your relationships with family and friends? Email life@abc.net.au

It begins with how risk-averse you are

People in Australia are generally in a strong position to fight coronavirus due to our population size, health outcomes and good diet.

If you are at greater risk, such as you are over 65 or have pre-existing conditions like heart disease, it’s reasonable to take extra precautions.

Toilet paper panic – On my regular trip to the supermarket yesterday, there was not a single roll of toilet paper to be found.

For most of us, our emotional response will largely come down to how risk-averse we are, explains David Savage, associate professor of behavioural economics at the University of Newcastle.

“On one end you have the people who are absolutely risk-averse; will go out of their way to avoid risk. These people will always have insurance even for the most bizarre things,” he says.

“They are the people panic-buying.

“At the other end you have what I would classify as risk-seeking people, otherwise known as teenage boys.”

What Dr Savage suggests we should all be aiming for is to be risk-neutral. Good at weighing up odds and responding accordingly.

But he acknowledges that can be difficult given how hard-wired risk aversion is for many of us.

“This aversion is not something we switch on and off, it’s part of our innate nature.”

He says telling people to be less risk-averse is like telling someone to stop being anxious.

Avoidance versus chaos

Your personality type will dictate what level of response you have to something like the spread of coronavirus, explains Dr Annie Cantwell-Bart, a psychologist specialising in grief and trauma.

“If, for example, you come from a family where avoidance style is what you’ve been taught, that’s what you will repeat,” she says.

“Or if you come from a fairly chaotic background where your dad has been in jail and mum is an alcoholic, you will hold a high level of anxiety in living anyway.”

She gives the example of her local barista, who is casually employed.

“When I asked how he was feeling, he said he doesn’t think about it, he just gets on with life.”

She says that avoidance style has its advantages and disadvantages.

“They risk not being prepared or cautious enough. He might feel some trauma if the boss of the cafe says we’re closing down for a fortnight, because he hasn’t prepared.”

On the other end of the scale, people might respond chaotically. 

“Like the punch-up in the supermarket. Some people will … get agitated and it’s probably a fear the world will somehow not support them in any way,” Dr Cantwell-Bart says.

We should be more sensitive towards people with this level of anxiety, she says.

“It’s really important not to judge people … they are in a highly aroused anxious state.”

What we’ve been through shapes our response

Coronavirus symptoms explained — what happens when you get COVID-19 and how likely is a full recovery?

Upbringing, cultural background and previous experiences all shape how we respond to difficult situations.

But it doesn’t always play out in ways you’d expect. For example, someone who has survived a similar incident previously may feel a false sense of security, rather than the need to be cautious or prepared.

Your beliefs may also cause you to underprepare.

“If you believe that everything is pre-ordained, and a higher power is directing your life, you may not bother with certain precautions,” Dr Savage says.

Having compassion and understanding

Dr Savage says Australians are living in a society that is becoming more individualist than collectivist.

“Half of us are going ‘that is very anti-social’, while the other half is saying ‘good on you’,” he says in regards to people stocking up on supplies.

Dr Cantwell-Bart says in a time of crisis, it’s important to be respectful and tolerant.

“It’s about being more compassionate. Understanding that people who might be behaving in ways we might not, are doing it for good reason.”

Dr Savage recommends taking a step back to remember we’re all different, and there isn’t always right and wrong.

“Take a little bit more time to say ‘I don’t understand what that person is doing, but is that a problem?'”

RETRIEVED https://www.abc.net.au/life/why-coronavirus-covid19-causes-people-to-react-in-differently/12046602

Dealing with suicidal thoughts

From LivingWell Services > Dealing with suicidal thoughts

Sometimes people come to our website because they are looking for personal help.

If someone asked you right now if you are having thoughts of suicide, what would your honest answer be?

If your answer is ‘yes’, this is undoubtedly a very difficult time for you. You don’t need to go through this alone. Help is available.

suicidal thoughts

It is not uncommon for men who have experienced child sexual abuse or sexual assault to have to deal with suicidal thoughts. An experience of child sexual abuse or sexual assault can have men feeling distressed and overwhelmed both at the time and at stressful times in the future. If suicidal thoughts are unchallenged they can convince a man that because he is doing it tough now it will always be like this. If there is time to talk about suicidal thoughts they can provide a clue to what a man holds dear, about certain connections he values and the dreams and aspirations he has for life. In order for such conversation to occur it is first important to make sure you are safe now.

Get Help

If you think you might harm yourself call for help immediately

  • Reach out to someone you trust and ask for help. Tell them honestly how you feel, including your thoughts of suicide.
  • Call 000 (police, ambulance, fire) or
  • Call Lifeline 13 11 14 or
  • Go, or have someone take you to your local hospital emergency department.
Thoughts of suicide? Call for help

It is important to understand suicidal thoughts

I felt like shit, like there was no way out. It wasn’t like my first thought but it was there in the background.

Remember that thoughts about suicide are just that – thoughts. You don’t need to act on them. They won’t last for ever, and often they pass very quickly. Many people who have had serious thoughts of suicide have said that they felt completely different only hours later. It is common to feel overwhelmed and distressed during difficult times or when it seems that things will never improve.

Things you can do to keep yourself safe

  • Seek help early. Talk to a family member or friend, see your local doctor, or ring a telephone counselling service.
  • Postpone any decision to end your life. Many people find that if they postpone big decisions for just 24 hours, things improve, they feel better able to cope and they find the support they need.
  • Talk to someone. Find someone you can trust to talk to: family, friends, a colleague, teacher or minister. 24-hour telephone counselling lines allow you to talk anonymously to a trained counsellor any time of the day or night.
  • Avoid being alone (especially at night). Stay with a family member or friend or have someone stay with you until your thoughts of suicide decrease.
  • Develop a safety plan. Come up with a plan that you can put into action at any time, for example have a friend or family member agree that you will call them when you are feeling overwhelmed or upset.
  • Avoid drugs and alcohol when you are feeling down. Many drugs are depressants and can make you feel worse, they don’t help to solve problems and can make you do things you wouldn’t normally do.
  • Set yourself small goals to help you move forward and feel in control. Set goals even on an hour-by-hour or day-by-day basis – write them down and cross them off as you achieve them.
  • Write down your feelings. You might keep a journal, write poetry or simply jot down your feelings. This can help you to understand yourself better and help you to think about alternative solutions to problems.
  • Stay healthy. try to get enough exercise and eat well – Exercising can help you to feel better by releasing hormones (endorphins) into your brain. Eating well will help you to feel energetic and better able to manage difficult life events.
  • See your local doctor or a specialist to discuss support or treatment. Discuss your suicidal thoughts and feelings with your doctor, talk about ways to keep yourself safe, and make sure you receive the best treatment and care.
  • See a mental health professional. Psychologists, psychiatrists, counsellors and other health professionals are trained to deal with issues relating to suicide, mental illness and well being. You can find them in the Yellow Pages or visit your GP or contact a crisis line for information.

Thoughts of suicide occur to many people and for a range of reasons. The most important thing to remember is that help is available. Talking to someone is a good place to start, even though it may seem difficult. Tell someone today!

Find help in your local area

If you’re feeling suicidal, getting help early can help you cope with the situation and avoid things getting worse. After you get over a crisis, you need to do all you can to make sure it doesn’t happen again. There are a number of sources of support in your local area. If the first place or person you contact can’t help, or doesn’t meet your needs, try another.

Where to get help

Lifeline Centres

Lifeline has centres all around Australia. Check their website for the centre closest to you, and for resources and information related to suicide prevention: www.lifeline.org.au or www.justlook.org.au.

General practitioner A GP can refer you for a Mental Health Care Plan. Look for one in the Yellow Pages, or contact your local community health centre.

Community Health CentresThese are listed in the White Pages.

PsychiatristLook in the Yellow Pages, or ask a referring organisation such as Lifeline’s Just Ask. To claim the Medicare rebate, you need a letter of referral from a GP.

PsychologistYou can find these through your GP, community health centre, the Yellow Pages or the Australian Psychological Society (APS). The APS provides a referral service on 1800 333 497 or visit their website at www.psychology.org.au.

Counsellors and psychotherapistsYou can find these through your GP, community health centre, or the Psychotherapy and Counselling Federation of Australia Inc (PACFA). PACFA have a national register of individual counsellors and psychotherapists available to the public at www.pacfa.org.au.

MenslineA 24-hour counselling service for men. Phone them on 1300 78 99 78, or visit www.mensline.org.au

Veterans Counselling Service

Support for all veterans and their families. Telephone: 1800 011 046, or visit www.vvaa.org.au

Headspace

A mental health website for young people up to age 25: www.headspace.org.au

Crisis Care

Gay and Lesbian Counselling and Community Services of Australia provides information and links to counselling services for gay and lesbian people. Telephone: 1800 18 45 27 or see the website for numbers in your state/territory, www.glccs.org.au

Who to call

For immediate support, when your life may be in danger, ring 000 or go to your local hospital emergency department.

ServiceNumber

National 24 Hour crisis telephone counselling services

Lifeline 13 11 14

Salvo Care Line1300 36 36 22

Kids Help Line1800 55 1800

Queensland

Crisis Counselling Service1300 363 622

ACT

Crisis Assessment and Treatment Team1800 629 354

New South Wales

Suicide Prevention and Crisis Intervention1300 363 622

Salvo Care Line02 9331 6000

Northern Territory

Crisis Line Northern Territory1800 019 116

South Australia

Mental Health Assessment and Crisis Intervention Service13 14 65

Tasmania

Samaritans Lifelink – country1300 364 566

Samaritans Lifelink – metro03 6331 3355

Victoria

Suicide Help Line Victoria1300 651 251

Western Australia

Samaritans Suicide Emergency Service – country1800 198 313Emergency Service – metro08 9381 5555

Note: Many of these services also offer interpreter services for those people who speak English as a second language (ESL).

Acknowledgement: This page was created with reference to the “Living is for everyone” publication Promoting good practice in suicide prevention: Activities targeting men produced by the Australian Government Department of Health and Ageing: 2008.

RETRIEVED https://livingwell.org.au/managing-difficulties/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts/

National Redress Scheme – Recent progress and support over the holiday season

This newsletter gives an update on the National Redress Scheme, including support over the holiday season and application progress.

For more information, call 1800 737 377 from Australia or +61 3 6222 3455 from overseas, or go to the National Redress Scheme website.


Support over the holiday season 

For many, the December/January holiday season may be a positive time of celebration with loved ones.

However, it can also be an intense and challenging time when feelings of isolation and loss can surface, and stress, anxiety and depression are heightened.

Support is available to help you if you need it.

The National Redress Scheme phone line will remain open over the holiday season (Monday to Friday 8am – 5pm local time) with the exception of 25 – 27 December 2019 and 1 January 2020.

Redress Support Services are available to provide free, confidential emotional and practical support before, during and after applying to the Scheme. The following Redress Support Services will remain open over the holiday season:

The remaining Redress Support Services will operate with revised opening hours over the holiday season. Alternative contact details will be provided on their answering machines, websites and/or social media pages.

If you need immediate assistance, please contact:


Application progress 
 

As of 29 November 2019, the National Redress Scheme:

  • had received over 5,510 applications
  • made 1,096 decisions, including 792 payments totalling over
    $64.1 million, and 155 offers of redress awaiting an applicant’s decision
  • had an average payment amount of $81,000
  • was processing over 3,610 applications
  • had 591 applications on hold because one or more institution named had not yet joined, and 218 applications required additional information from the applicant.

Since 1 July 2019, more people have received redress than in the entire first year of the Scheme. From 1 July 2019 to 29 November 2019, 563 applications were finalised, resulting in 553 payments.


Find out more

To find out more about the National Redress Scheme, go to the website or call 1800 737 377from Australia or +61 3 6222 3455 from overseas (Monday to Friday 8am – 5pm local time with the exception of the December/January dates listed above).

Website: https://www.nationalredress.gov.au

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10 Ways to Teach Your Child the Skills to Prevent Sexual Abuse

Straight talk about body parts and a no-secrets policy can protect young kids without scaring them

Natasha Daniels

We can arm kids with knowledge that might save them from being victimized.

1. Talk about body parts early.

Name body parts and talk about them very early. Use proper names for body parts, or at least teach your child what the actual words are for their body parts. I can’t tell you how many young children I have worked with who have called their vagina their “bottom.” Feeling comfortable using these words and knowing what they mean can help a child talk clearly if something inappropriate has happened.

2. Teach them that some body parts are private.

Tell your child that their private parts are called private because they are not for everyone to see. Explain that mommy and daddy can see them naked, but people outside of the home should only see them with their clothes on. Explain how their doctor can see them without their clothes because mommy and daddy are there with them and the doctor is checking their body.

3. Teach your child body boundaries.

Tell your child matter-of-factly that no one should touch their private parts and that no one should ask them to touch somebody else’s private parts. Parents will often forget the second part of this sentence. Sexual abuse often begins with the perpetrator asking the child to touch them or someone else.

4. Tell your child that body secrets are not okay.

Most perpetrators will tell the child to keep the abuse a secret. This can be done in a friendly way, such as, “I love playing with you, but if you tell anyone else what we played they won’t let me come over again.” Or it can be a threat: “This is our secret. If you tell anyone I will tell them it was your idea and you will get in big trouble!” Tell your kids that no matter what anyone tells them, body secrets are not okay and they should always tell you if someone tries to make them keep a body secret.

5. Tell your child that no one should take pictures of their private parts.

This one is often missed by parents. There is a whole sick world out there of pedophiles who love to take and trade pictures of naked children online. This is an epidemic and it puts your child at risk. Tell your kids that no one should ever take pictures of their private parts.

6. Teach your child how to get out of scary or uncomfortable situations.

Some children are uncomfortable with telling people “no”— especially older peers or adults. Tell them that it’s okay to tell an adult they have to leave, if something that feels wrong is happening, and help give them words to get out of uncomfortable situations. Tell your child that if someone wants to see or touch private parts they can tell them that they need to leave to go potty.

7. Have a code word your children can use when they feel unsafe or want to be picked up.

As children get a little bit older, you can give them a code word that they can use when they are feeling unsafe. This can be used at home, when there are guests in the house or when they are on a play date or a sleepover.

8. Tell your children they will never be in trouble if they tell you a body secret.

Children often tell me that they didn’t say anything because they thought they would get in trouble, too. This fear is often used by the perpetrator. Tell your child that no matter what happens, when they tell you anything about body safety or body secrets they will NEVER get in trouble.

9. Tell your child that a body touch might tickle or feel good.

Many parents and books talk about “good touch and bad touch,” but this can be confusing because often these touches do not hurt or feel bad. I prefer the term “secret touch,” as it is a more accurate depiction of what might happen.

10. Tell your child that these rules apply even with people they know and even with another child.

This is an important point to discuss with your child. When you ask a young child what a “bad guy” looks like they will most likely describe a cartoonish villain. You can say something like, “Mommy and daddy might touch your private parts when we are cleaning you or if you need cream — but no one else should touch you there. Not friends, not aunts or uncles, not teachers or coaches. Even if you like them or think they are in charge, they should still not touch your private parts.”

I am not naïve enough to believe that these discussions will absolutely prevent sexual abuse, but knowledge is a powerful deterrent, especially with young children who are targeted due to their innocence and ignorance in this area.

And one discussion is not enough. Find natural times to reiterate these messages, such as bath time or when they are running around naked. And please share this article with those you love and care about and help me spread the message of body safety!

Retrieved: https://childmind.org/article/10-ways-to-teach-your-child-the-skills-to-prevent-sexual-abuse/

https://www.anxioustoddlers.com/prevent-sexual-abuse/

What Are Support Groups for Anxiety? (2/2)

IN THIS ARTICLE


What a Group is like

Finding the right Group

What to consider


How many people are in the group? A large gathering means you get to hear from more people. A small one can give you more time to work through your own feelings. A psychologist or another therapist can help you decide which size suits your needs.

Do all the members have anxiety? There are lots of different kinds of support groups. They often work best when most of the members have similar issues.

What are the rules for sharing in this group? A therapist won’t share anything you say to her. Group members aren’t supposed to, either. Ground rules about keeping what’s shared during therapy confidential can help the members build trust with each other.

What to Consider

One of the biggest advantages is that you’ll get support from other people who feel like you do. That can improve your mood and make you feel less alone.

Other people who have started to treat their anxiety may inspire you. You might pick up tips or techniques that help you deal with your own situation.

Helping problem-solve for your fellow group members can also remind you that you know a lot about managing anxiety. That can prompt you to use those skills in your own life. And group therapy is often less expensive than individual counseling.

There can be drawbacks, though. If one person doesn’t want to open up to the group, others may hesitate to share their thoughts. That can make sessions less effective.

While you may get helpful ideas from other members, don’t take their opinions and comments more seriously than the therapist who is leading the group.

If you have concerns about how your group is going, you may want to privately talk to the therapist who leads it to see if they can change how things are done. Or you may want to try another group or one-on-one therapy.

WebMD Medical Reference Reviewed by Smitha Bhandari, MD on January 16, 2018

© 2018 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.

SOURCES

American Psychological Association: “Psychotherapy: Understanding Group Therapy.” 

Anxiety and Depression Association of America: “Support Groups.” 

Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience: “Cognitive behavioral group therapy for anxiety: recent developments.”

National Health Service (NHS) U.K.: “Depression Support Groups.”

BJPsych Advances: “Group cognitive-behavioural therapy for anxiety and depression.”

American Addiction Centers: “Group Therapy Vs. Individual Therapy.” 


RETRIEVED: The Benefits of Support Group Therapy