Something that becomes easier for some victims/survivors/oppressed/bad-eggs/outcasts to see is the hidden-truth, the dry wit, the ‘adult humour’, “things only grownups understand” that they innately become both aware of & exposed to during their youth. I wanted to post this immediately after recognising patterns in ‘She Said’. Many of the power+control methods exposed by this great work also reflect/mirror dynamics they continue throughout Institutions-Corporations-Society’s-Families & personalities.
While Harvey Weinstein’s ‘imprisonment’ has triggered off other moments, reminders give hope to other truth’s being exposed.
Many other ‘parallels’ appeared to me, which I gravitate to. It’s not about whether it’s popular to others, it’s whether it’s meaningful to me, another was Spotlight which brought up reminders I was exposed to on a church youth camp! How blessed were we?!
Timed perfectly(?), an encounter with some graduates + a younger BBC student occurred on a train TWG-CEN: (eMail contents to BBC, OCA & QR)
/ / / Belatedly & with “it’s a generational thing” regret as both an Old Boy, OCA-Bursary recipient & past BBC Teacher’s Aide
volunteer, the following results from a QR TWG-CEN ~3:43pm: – QR/TransLink Concession Card Recepients (4/5 seniors, 1 green)- uniformed BBC Students “represent the school & should give the greatest (public) impression” (QR, BBC & OCA)- similar BBC Admin messages have been successfully enacted, yet ‘younger learn from older’ isn’t practiced- passionate language was triggered, resulting from overall ‘untouchable/innocent’ response(?) (predominately seniors)- immediate conversation with QR staff reinforced these “students from private schools” conundrum.
Now would be a good time for BBC to seperate itself, from the herd-mentality. Otherwise, expecting ongoing feedback re: these matters.
Made 9,164 decisions — including 7,889 payments, totalling over $682.6 million (m), with an average of $86,521
Has made 8,679 offers for redress. Applicants have six months to consider their offer of redress.
5,923 applications are currently being progressed, 702 are on hold or paused, including 112 applications due to institution not participating (representing 1.9% of applications on hand).
The total number of applications finalised and redress payments in Year 1 are 239 ($19.8m), 2,537 ($205.0m) in Year 2, 3,283 ($285.0m) in Year 3 of the Scheme and 2,148 ($172.8m) in Year 4 of the Scheme.
43 IDMs are currently actively making decisions.
Participating institutions update
All institutions where child sexual abuse has occurred are encouraged to sign up to the Scheme as soon as possible.
As at Declaration 2, signed by the Minister on 7 March 2022:
All Commonwealth and State and Territory government institutions and 577 non government institutions are now participating in the Scheme.
Approximately 70,200 sites across Australia are now covered by the Scheme.
To date, 63 institutions have been declared under the Funder of Last Resort (FOLR) arrangements.
These institutions are defunct, a government is equally responsible for the abuse and the Commonwealth and/or relevant state governments are the FOLR.
Take Your Power Back: Healing Lessons, Tips, and Tools for Abuse Survivors
This material may be protected by copyright.
If “I’d been looking for ‘this kinda book’, for so long” sounds familiar – this could be the answer! Both suggested + reviewed by others in our league, here are some short examples of what it contains:
“As you discover and come into your own truth, you will gain the following:
• emotional strength as your self-confidence and self-assurance build
• an awareness of what triggers your painful emotions and moods, and an improved ability to cope with them before the pain escalates
• more responsiveness to outside influences as you become less reactive
• a feeling of safety in your own body
• confidence in your ability to consciously choose your response to situations that are in your best interest with due consideration for others, rather than emotionally gambling by unconsciously reacting in unhealthy ways to gain others’ approval and avoid pain
Mentors, coaches, and therapists can be instrumental in guiding you through the process, but the answers to truth-based healing reside in us. We must seek them out and apply them by reaching into the core of our being for the answers. The point is this:
You must uncover and discover to recover.”
Ryan, Evelyn M. (2015). Excerpt from (p.25/188)
This book isn’t an easy read, but that’s not what readers of it are looking for. Answers, methods + solutions are what it contains, which is what this writing aims for! If anything can make surviving-victims of child-sexual-abuse feel better, it’s knowing that there are things like this book.
Posted Thu 4 Aug 2022 at 4:30pmThursday 4 Aug 2022 at 4:30pm, updated Yesterday at 5:58am
The Catholic Church is using a controversial legal tactic in a bid to be excused from a civil damages claim lodged in the Victorian Supreme Court involving Cardinal George Pell.
The man lodging the claim says he suffered nervous shock after learning of allegations his son was abused by Cardinal Pell
Cardinal Pell has always maintained his innocence and was acquitted by the High Court of criminal charges in 2020
The Archdiocese has asked to be excused from the civil case, claiming the father was not the primary victim of any alleged abuse
A man is suing the Catholic Archdiocese of Melbourne and Cardinal Pell for damages, claiming he suffered nervous shock after learning of allegations Cardinal Pell sexually assaulted his son when he was a choirboy at St Patrick’s Cathedral in East Melbourne in 1996.
In 2018, Cardinal Pell was found guilty of the assault, but the High Court unanimously quashed the conviction in 2020.
The Cardinal has always maintained his innocence.
Church calls upon ‘Ellis defence’
In a preliminary hearing in the Victorian Supreme Court on Thursday, the Archdiocese indicated it wanted to rely on what is known as the ‘Ellis defence’ to be excused from the case.
The Ellis defence emerged out of a 2007 NSW Court of Appeal judgement that prevented an abuse survivor suing the Church because it was not a legal entity.
If the Archdiocese is excused, Cardinal Pell would remain a defendant.
In a letter to the court, solicitors for the Archdiocese indicated that, even if the Church avoided liability, it would still pay any damages should the judge find against Cardinal Pell.
“If the plaintiff is awarded damages against the second defendant [George Pell], the Archdiocese will ensure that the award is paid by indemnifying the second defendant in respect of the award,” the letter said.
The father of the choirboy, who cannot be named for legal reasons, launched his case last month.
His son died of a drug overdose in 2014 and the father only learned of the allegations against Cardinal Pell the following year.
The father is claiming general damages, special damages and seeking compensation for past loss of earning capacity as well as past and future medical expenses.
His solicitor, Lisa Flynn, said the High Court’s decision to quash Cardinal Pell’s conviction would not affect the civil proceedings.
“The High Court made some decisions in relation to the criminal prosecution against [George] Pell. Our case is a civil case against George Pell and the Catholic Archdiocese,” she said.
Paybacks. Silent Treatment. Isolation. Threats. Humiliation. Sometimes even physical abuse. These are the weapons of coercive control, a strategy used by some people against their intimate partners. A relationship that should involve loving support ends up as a trap designed for domination. Although coercive control can show up in a variety of relationships, the most common is one in which a man uses coercive control against his wife or girlfriend. However, people of any gender and orientation(link is external)can be victims or victimizers.
People subject to coercive control grow anxious and afraid. Coercive control strips away their independence, sense of self, and basic rights, such as the right to make decisions about their own time, friends, and appearance.
Many men who use coercive control also abuse partners physically or sexually, but some use coercive control without physical violence. Outsiders may not be able to see the signs of coercive control in a couple; those who use it are often quite charming.
Victims of coercive control often feel like hostages. Over time, being grilled, criticized, stalked, and monitored may seem routine and inescapable. Victims often blame themselves as they feel despairing and disoriented. It’s easy for a person in this position to lose confidence and accept a partner’s view of reality. They may feel confused as they are told again and again that they themselves have triggered their partner’s behaviors by doing something “wrong.” At the same time, to keep the peace, victims may suppress their own desires, silence their voices, and detach from loved ones. Unfortunately, victims often do not see the connection between their partner’s control and their own isolation until time has passed. Losing self-confidence and close relationships at the same time can be paralyzing.
People who get caught in the web of a controlling person are no different from others. They just have the bad luck to become involved with an abuser at a time when they are especially vulnerable. Typically, an abuser will lavish attention on a woman at the beginning of the relationship. Over time, he becomes jealous, monitors her whereabouts, and restricts her interactions with others. His partner thinks the original “helpful man” is the “real” him, and if she does things right, he’ll go back to being wonderful again. At times he may indeed act loving, if this seems like the best way to maintain his control. Loving acts become another controlling tactic.
Once a controlling man has caught a woman in his web, he will do everything he can to prolong the relationship. Sometimes he will threaten, stalk, assault, or even murder her if she leaves or he suspects she’s trying to leave. For this reason, even if there is no physical violence it is important for a person who is being controlled to contact a domestic violence agency and devise a safety plan.
Only a couple of decades ago, society named and recognized the problems of sexual harassment, dating violence, marital rape, and stalking. Coercive control needs to be similarly named and recognized, so we can begin to address it. We all need to learn more, so we can offer the right kinds of support(link is external) and not allow victims to become isolated.
* If you don’t like the word “victim,” feel free to substitute “survivor” or another term that you prefer.
Sexual abuse was rampant at St Joseph’s Orphanage in Clontarf, WA. The Christian Brothers would leer at the boys while they showered, and in the evenings, the Brothers would choose boys to take to their bedrooms. One of the survivors said this was “pretty much a nightly occurrence, or at least it occurred more often than not”…
To all of those who’ve sent in WP Messages to this RoyalCommBBC blog, I am sorry I haven’t responded to your messages. Although I’m now able to partly post new pieces, I’m not able to access your messages. If possible, please COPY + PASTE them into either an eMail OR TXT:
Despite Baptist churches (+7th Day Adventists & Jehovah’s Witnesses) being framed as though each individual location are ‘seperate entities’, NRS acknowledgement under CARC conditions has included Institutions on a state-by-state level. As such, direct personal responses will be made on behalf of these state representatives. Under which these state bodies will be responsible for “coercive control, indoctrinations & scapegoating”, in association with the “abuses & impacts” (BraveHearts psychology, 2022).
As some of us have been taken through multiple ‘levels’ of CSA, this is where “Complex PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) also adds to the atypical occasions on NRS databases. Although I had previously suggested this in both my Private CARC Session and in my NRS Counselling, it wasn’t until I started to share an ‘ideas diagram’ with my psychologist, that another POV was made. It can be complex explaining, these complex settings, which are often covered by complex secrecy!
A direct personal response (DPR) is one of the 3 components offered through the Scheme to eligible people.
Participating in a DPR is an opportunity for people who have experienced abuse while in the ‘care’ of an institution to share their experience of abuse, to the extent they wish to do so, with a representative of the institution and to have them hear, recognise and acknowledge their story. The institution’s representative may apologise on behalf of the institution and explain the steps the institution has taken or will take to prevent abuse happening again in the future.
A DPR can be given through a face-to-face meeting between a person and a representative of the institution, a written letter, or any other method preferred by the person and agreed to by the institution.
All participating institutions must participate in a DPR with a person who requests it, except where it would risk causing harm. Institutions must provide DPRs in line with the NRS DPR Framework.
Although this provided DPR info sounds fairly straight-forward, I can let readers know that it’s far from that. For some of us who’re also dealing with related issues, having to relive the same moments for unfamiliar ’help’ can unfortunately cause you to relive the same moments for the 3rd-4th-or even 5th time! It’s great having a chance to reconnect, with those ’in the know’ who’ll be able to recognise your past-current-future lifestyle. This can be a great stage, to finally get ’official statements’ for YOUR ordeals – directly! Please take it from someone whose had to go off the comfortable track – reach out to the suitable Counselling people.
Thanks to Australia’s impact of climate change & covid19:
my NRS 1. has been submitted;
NRS 2. still awaiting ”Institutional Responses”;
NRS 3. is now having experienced Counsellors helping me.
“There’s always a bigger wave …” (common saying). CSA Survivours should try to keep in mind, that you’re not in this alone + they’re more sources coming forward: other surviving-victims, Counsellors, Government Sources & Law-enforcement (Police, solicitors & judges).