As suspected throughout the lifespan of many CSA Victims, although each “Institution” operates within their own (secret) Rules/Bi-laws/Conditions – they should each ensure the “care & protection of the children, minors (under 18 yrs) & those in their care” (Qld Gov Acts). Throughout the existence of these Institutions, there have been heightened occasions of single + multiple CSA.
During the recent “Growing Public GPS Cases” a wider audience was achieved, allowing for additional Posts to be noted. In “GPS Growth & Ongoing Impacts”, listing these Posts gave a pattern of Topics at the top of Visitor’s interests. Through discussions with fellow CSAS Survivours, Journalists & QPS CPIU Officers, typical CSA ‘rumours’, ‘secrets’ & ‘gossip’ should surely be dealt with. Although CSA (& Power-plays) continue to occur, the chance of ‘nipping-it-in-the-bud’ is now quicker & easier to achieve.
Although ‘Join-the-dots’ had often been used in a creative sense, after review of the CSA patterns forming amongst Institutions of Education (Schools, Colleges & Universities), Religions (any denomination), Social/Sports (group/team-based), or Professional (e.g. Courts) – a common pattern is obvious: “control leads to more control”. Solution is to ‘Lead more, control less’; Easy to say, difficult to achieve.
During the 1st few days of the Promotion of our “Growing Public GPS Cases”, the large jump in Visitors has been largely the result of Facebook Adverts, yet there have also been lifts in the particular Posts of Visitors.
While there was a notable lift in Visitors, there has been an occasional increase in visits to other CSA-related issues:
Until 2001/2 there appears to have been no Government controls over most Private Schools. Known as “Accreditation of Non-State Schools”, until the introduction of the 2006 Act, all that appears to be available was the ‘Education (General Provisions) Act 1989 (Qld)’. Memories of Buchanan and Bradley seemingly rubbing the noses of their victims, in BBC’s non-inclusions of the 1989 Act were experienced by many. Each of these Victims do have NRS Compensation-Support-Apologies available to them (minimum).
Of particular note in Qld Gov’s Objectives of the 2017 version: “to maintain public confidence in the operation of non-State Schools”. How much does this seem defensive, of the decades + decades of abhorrent ‘kiddie-fiddling’ which ran riot in our ‘Elite Schools of Excellence’?
The following processes, must now be provided to all students:
a. the reporting, by a student to a stated staff member, of behaviour of another staff member that the student considered inappropriate
how the information reported must be dealt with
the reporting, by a staff member to the School’s Principal, of harm of which the staff member is aware, or the staff member reasonably suspects to have been caused to a student under 18 years
the reporting of harm or suspected harm by the Principal to a relevant State Authority.
This newsletter gives an update on the National Redress Scheme (the Scheme). It covers institution updates and recent data.
The update contains material that could be confronting or distressing. Sometimes words or images can cause sadness or distress or trigger traumatic memories, particularly for people who have experienced past abuse or childhood trauma.
To provide some certainty to applicants, any institution named in the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse and/or an application were asked to provide a written statement outlining their intention to join the Scheme by 30 June 2020.
On 1 July 2020, the details of institutions that signified, and failed to signify their intent to join before the deadline were published on the Scheme website. Minister for Families and Social Services, Senator the Hon Anne Ruston also issued a media release on the naming of institutions.
BGS, GT, BBC, ACGS, NC, IGS & TSS, … BSHS & TGS seem to be ‘saved’?! Each of the other Private Schools/Colleges within Queensland’s GPS competitions have been dealing with higher amounts of CSA, than comparative (coed) Brisbane State High & TGS. Perhaps changes in some of the previously same-gender schools/colleges have allowed for coed into early years, avoiding how male/female only has involved increases in CSA occurrence(?).
Similar to allowance of low-SES culture into Private Schools/Colleges, disbanding these permissions has been introduced at some of these locations. There may have been rises in some International Students. Has this solved the situation, or ‘moved the target’? Again, time will tell – yet any responses from our readers is WELCOME! What’s more precious, reputation of the school, or safety of our children?
“The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty.”
– Mother Teresa
Self-sacrifice is natural to Christians, and encouraged. Christians are to put the legitimate needs of others ahead of their own, in imitation of Christ. Mother Teresa was a shining example of this. For abuse victims, however, self-sacrifice can become confused with codependence.
Codependence as an After-Effect of Abuse
Individuals suffering from codependence will allow the emotions and behavior of others to dictate their view of themselves. Those with codependence will tolerate – even, unconsciously, seek out – relationships that are “one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive verbally or physically” .
Codependent characteristics include low self-esteem; fear of anger; denial of any problems with the relationship; and an exaggerated sense of responsibility for the feelings, choices, and actions of the loved one .
While on its face, codependence may resemble Christian self-sacrifice, there are distinct differences between the two.
The codependent individual may forego his/her goals and desires to meet the perceived “needs” of a loved one. But the underlying motive for this is not the welfare of the loved one. It is fear.
Actually, the codependent individual is attempting to shore up his/her fragile sense of worth, strike an unspoken bargain for love and affection, and maintain the relationship at all costs (however abusive or unsatisfying it may be). An overly solicitous mother might be a crude illustration.
By comparison, Christian self-sacrifice is not the attempt to manipulate (or placate) an individual perceived as more “important” or powerful. It is, or should be, truly selfless.
Clinging to an Imitation
None of this is meant to imply that abuse victims cannot love and love intensely. The problem lies in the fact victims have not seen healthy love modeled. What feels familiar is a flawed version of love, an imitation. The real love and support victims need seem out of reach, so we cling to the imitation with all our might, confusing pain for passion.
Codependence does not have to be a permanent state. What can loosen its grip is reality, in liberal doses.
What would a third party identify as problems in the relationship? Putting aside the excuses victims have always made for him/her, what attitudes and behavior on the loved one’s part cause victims pain?
Why is it victims feel unworthy of a satisfying relationship?
What would the consequences be, if victims expressed their dissatisfaction or anger? What was the response to their anger in childhood?
Notice that the list of our supposed failures and inadequacies is not included here. That, for the most part, is a work of fiction. But abuse victims are not likely to recognize the fact until the foundation for the fiction has been undermined.
The reality is victims are no longer children. We are entitled to have needs, and express them. We are entitled to have negative emotions, and express them. We will not be annihilated, if the abusive relationship ends.
The reality is victims are not responsible. Not for the feelings, choices, or actions of the loved one – much as victims might like to believe that. An exaggerated sense of responsibility provides only the illusion of control. That illusion may be necessary to the child; it is crippling to the adult.
The reality is victims can survive. The proof is – astoundingly enough – that we have. Despite the dire predictions of those who should have loved us. Despite childhood insults, curses, and neglect; despite adult scars. Despite even the flawed relationships into which we have fallen, thinking we deserve no better.
Christians talk casually about God’s plan for their lives and the lives of others. This can be grating to the ears of abuse victims (especially those new to, or unfamiliar with, the faith).
As victims are inclined to see it, God’s plan for them included abuse. Whether He caused that abuse or merely allowed it to occur, He failed to protect them against it. And they have the scars to prove that.
The issue of innocent suffering is a profound one, and cannot be papered over with a handy Bible verse. For abuse victims, coming to terms with it may be a lifelong struggle.
Trusting themselves can be as great a challenge. Abuse has effectively “taught” victims not to rely on their own judgment, their own instincts. This is something they must unlearn.
It is not helpful for Christians to urge victims to trust in God, rather than themselves. Such trust will come with time. It cannot be rushed. There are deep wounds which must be healed first.
Christians should be sensitive in the language they use around abuse victims. To victims of incest, even the term “Father God” can sound disturbing. To those who were sexually abused or tortured by siblings, the term “brothers and sisters in Christ” may be equally threatening.
Christians should not pressure victims to drop their defenses, and should not hug or make other physical contact with victims without their permission. Victims may experience either as invasive, and shy away.
Christians should allow abuse victims to take the lead, insofar as relationships. Friendships should not be forced. These will develop as victims gradually come to see they will not be harmed.
Originally posted 3/29/15
This series will continue next week with Self-Sacrifice v. Codependence
FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com
Approaching the end of June 20, it’s the rollover of another year on many levels. ‘Mid-year madness’ is a common title given to Sales, states-of-mind, emotions, shortest seasonal day (Winter Solstice), School holidays have begun, unexpected losses of home isolation & COVID19’s impact is expected to continue; contrasting with Australia & New Zealand being awarded the Womens’ World Cup 2023 by FIFA! So, life goes on.
In this Mid-year madness, we’re pleased to be bringing our growing audience (currently 1,422) the 2nd + 3rd in a series of 6 Editions of Anne Waldherr’s Unbiblical series. These may be suitably timed, as each of RCbbc’s releases have seen a global leap in readers of our site. There have been occasional messages, which allow conversations to be shared.
As seen by our planned eNews, there have been notable jumps in visitors + countries, related to the varying Topics. Since our last eNews, we have covered:
The understanding of a ‘Ripple effect’ of CSA Predators, continues throughout society. The resources to challenge this issue cannot be easily sorted. These pieces of data will continue to be shared. The imbalances that the church-military-politics have had for millenniums cannot easily be changed. These will be an unexpected form of ‘Let Honor Stainless Be’, by demanding justice for ourselves and our effected families.
Feedback Received – re: NRS
Anna Waldherr (avoicereclaimed & ‘unbiblical’) : It is good to know such a Scheme has been established. You may at times stand a lonely vigil. But the information you provide is essential.
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy” (Prov. 31: 8-9 NIV).
Poverty and abuse have much in common.
The traumatic and repetitive nature of child abuse, and the huge imbalance of power between adult and child, can leave profound psychological scars on victims – scars that may include PTSD, depression, and anxiety to name a few.
Often, victims are left with a fear of authority as adults. The impact of poverty is surprisingly similar.
Fear of Authority
Their hopes chronically dashed and their pleas for justice routinely ignored, the poor frequently assume further effort on their part will be futile.
People who have been repeatedly downtrodden – deprived of basic necessities, cheated of their rights by abusive landlords and the host of other scam artists who prey on the poor – will forget that they have a voice, and throw in the towel (already exhausted).
Angry and Overwhelmed
The thought of challenging a fraudulent real estate agent or employer can leave the poor feeling angry and overwhelmed. Why bother? Why risk failure and the associated pain?
That is one of the reasons getting the poor to vote is so difficult. They fail to recognize their potential power as a voting block. It is, also, one of the reasons the underprivileged sometimes explode in violence. Their patience at last at an end, they may see no other course open to them.
Of course, anger turned inward can become depression. That can manifest as apathy.
A Sense of Empowerment
Regaining control over their lives is essential for the poor. They deserve dignity and security.
Just as with the victims of abuse, if the poor can be convinced to risk confrontation in a judicial setting where their rights are protected, the act of standing up for themselves can help restore a sense of empowerment.
Success in any small degree (particularly when coupled with appropriate legal support and simple kindness) can help re-establish belief in a system from which the poor have felt excluded.
Whatever the outcome of litigation, the poor need no longer view themselves as voiceless children, forced once again to submit.