Overlapping similarities

Something that becomes easier for some victims/survivors/oppressed/bad-eggs/outcasts to see is the hidden-truth, the dry wit, the ‘adult humour’, “things only grownups understand” that they innately become both aware of & exposed to during their youth. I wanted to post this immediately after recognising patterns in ‘She Said’. Many of the power+control methods exposed by this great work also reflect/mirror dynamics they continue throughout Institutions-Corporations-Society’s-Families & personalities.

While Harvey Weinstein’s ‘imprisonment’ has triggered off other moments, reminders give hope to other truth’s being exposed.

Promising Young Woman, 2021.

Many other ‘parallels’ appeared to me, which I gravitate to. It’s not about whether it’s popular to others, it’s whether it’s meaningful to me, another was Spotlight which brought up reminders I was exposed to on a church youth camp! How blessed were we?!

Spotlight, 2015.

Ongoing ‘generational’ differences?

Featured

Timed perfectly(?), an encounter with some graduates + a younger BBC student occurred on a train TWG-CEN: (eMail contents to BBC, OCA & QR)

/ / / Belatedly  & with “it’s a generational thing” regret as both an Old Boy, OCA-Bursary recipient & past BBC Teacher’s Aide 

#duckduckgo, retrieved 2022

volunteer, the following results from a QR TWG-CEN ~3:43pm:
– QR/TransLink Concession Card Recepients (4/5 seniors, 1 green)- uniformed BBC Students “represent the school & should give the greatest (public) impression” (QR, BBC & OCA)- similar BBC Admin messages have been successfully enacted, yet ‘younger learn from older’ isn’t practiced- passionate language was triggered, resulting from overall ‘untouchable/innocent’ response(?) (predominately seniors)- immediate conversation with QR staff reinforced these “students from private schools” conundrum.


Now would be a good time for BBC to seperate itself, from the herd-mentality. Otherwise, expecting ongoing feedback re: these matters.

Recent progress and recent institutions to join:

Application progress

As of 25 March 2022, the Scheme:

  • Had received 14,582 applications.
  • Made 9,164 decisions — including 7,889 payments, totalling over $682.6 million (m), with an average of $86,521
  • Has made 8,679 offers for redress. Applicants have six months to consider their offer of redress.
  • 5,923 applications are currently being progressed, 702 are on hold or paused, including 112 applications due to institution not participating (representing 1.9% of applications on hand).
  • The total number of applications finalised and redress payments in Year 1 are 239 ($19.8m), 2,537 ($205.0m) in Year 2, 3,283 ($285.0m) in Year 3 of the Scheme and 2,148 ($172.8m) in Year 4 of the Scheme.
  • 43 IDMs are currently actively making decisions.

Participating institutions update

All institutions where child sexual abuse has occurred are encouraged to sign up to the Scheme as soon as possible.

As at Declaration 2, signed by the Minister on 7 March 2022:

  • All Commonwealth and State and Territory government institutions and 577 non government institutions are now participating in the Scheme.
  • Approximately 70,200 sites across Australia are now covered by the Scheme.
  • To date, 63 institutions have been declared under the Funder of Last Resort (FOLR) arrangements.
    • These institutions are defunct, a government is equally responsible for the abuse and the Commonwealth and/or relevant state governments are the FOLR.

A number of institutions were recently added to the Scheme legislation. This declaration is available on via the Federal Register of Legislation: https://www.legislation.gov.au/Details/F2022C00171

For the latest information about institutions, visit our website: https://www.nationalredress.gov.au/institutions

Take Your Power Back

Take Your Power Back: Healing Lessons, Tips, and Tools for Abuse Survivors

This material may be protected by copyright.

Take your power back, Evelyn M. Ryan

If “I’d been looking for ‘this kinda book’, for so long” sounds familiar – this could be the answer! Both suggested + reviewed by others in our league, here are some short examples of what it contains:

“As you discover and come into your own truth, you will gain the following:

            •   emotional strength as your self-confidence and self-assurance build
            •   an awareness of what triggers your painful emotions and moods, and an improved ability to cope with them before the pain escalates
            •   more responsiveness to outside influences as you become less reactive
            •   a feeling of safety in your own body
            •   confidence in your ability to consciously choose your response to situations that are in your best interest with due consideration for others, rather than emotionally gambling by unconsciously reacting in unhealthy ways to gain others’ approval and avoid pain

        Mentors, coaches, and therapists can be instrumental in guiding you through the process, but the answers to truth-based healing reside in us. We must seek them out and apply them by reaching into the core of our being for the answers. The point is this:
        You must uncover and discover to recover.”



Ryan, Evelyn M. (2015). Excerpt from (p.25/188)


This book isn’t an easy read, but that’s not what readers of it are looking for. Answers, methods + solutions are what it contains, which is what this writing aims for! If anything can make surviving-victims of child-sexual-abuse feel better, it’s knowing that there are things like this book.


RETRIEVED

Ran, Evelyn M. (2015). Take your power back. Retrieved via https://books.apple.com/au/book/take-your-power-back/id1068414334.

Amazon logo

Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Take-Your-Power-Back-Survivors-ebook/dp/B0793P43LP

Apple Book logo

Apple https://books.apple.com/au/book/take-your-power-back/id1068414334

Google Play logo

Google Play https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=4F4TCwAAQBAJ&rdid=book-4F4TCwAAQBAJ&rdot=1&source=gbs_atb&pcampaignid=books_booksearch_atb

HalfPriceBooks logo

HalfPriceBooks https://www.hpb.com/products/take-your-power-back-9781491778166

Cardinal George Pell Civil Case Catholic Archdiocese

By Danny Morgan

Posted Thu 4 Aug 2022 at 4:30pmThursday 4 Aug 2022 at 4:30pm, updated Yesterday at 5:58am

A man wearing a black robe holds his fingers to his temple as he speaks.
The father of a former choirboy who died of a drug overdose in 2014 has launched a case against Cardinal George Pell.(AP: Gregorio Borgia)

The Catholic Church is using a controversial legal tactic in a bid to be excused from a civil damages claim lodged in the Victorian Supreme Court involving Cardinal George Pell.

Key points:

  • The man lodging the claim says he suffered nervous shock after learning of allegations his son was abused by Cardinal Pell
  • Cardinal Pell has always maintained his innocence and was acquitted by the High Court of criminal charges in 2020
  • The Archdiocese has asked to be excused from the civil case, claiming the father was not the primary victim of any alleged abuse

A man is suing the Catholic Archdiocese of Melbourne and Cardinal Pell for damages, claiming he suffered nervous shock after learning of allegations Cardinal Pell sexually assaulted his son when he was a choirboy at St Patrick’s Cathedral in East Melbourne in 1996.

In 2018, Cardinal Pell was found guilty of the assault, but the High Court unanimously quashed the conviction in 2020.

The Cardinal has always maintained his innocence.

Church calls upon ‘Ellis defence’

In a preliminary hearing in the Victorian Supreme Court on Thursday, the Archdiocese indicated it wanted to rely on what is known as the ‘Ellis defence’ to be excused from the case.

The Ellis defence emerged out of a 2007 NSW Court of Appeal judgement that prevented an abuse survivor suing the Church because it was not a legal entity.

Survivors have long complained about the Church using the Ellis defence, and in 2018 the Victorian Parliament passed legislation that required unincorporated associations such as the Church to nominate an entity that is capable of being sued.

However, lawyers for the Archdiocese argued that legislation did not apply in this case because the father of the choirboy was not the primary victim of the alleged abuse.

The facade of St Patrick's Cathedral reaches into a cloudy sky.
The civil damages claim relates to allegations of abuse at St Patrick’s Cathedral in 1996.(ABC News: Danielle Bonica)

The father’s barrister, Julian Burnside QC, disagreed, arguing the 2018 legislation applied to both primary victims and their families.

“What our learned friends’ submission amounts to is this: If the victim of child abuse dies, then the family has no remedy, they have no-one they can sue,” Mr Burnside said.

“Now that’s plainly wrong in our submission.”

Justice Michael McDonald has reserved his decision on whether to excuse the Archdiocese.

If you or anyone you know needs help:

Archdiocese pledges to pay any potential damages

If the Archdiocese is excused, Cardinal Pell would remain a defendant.

In a letter to the court, solicitors for the Archdiocese indicated that, even if the Church avoided liability, it would still pay any damages should the judge find against Cardinal Pell.

“If the plaintiff is awarded damages against the second defendant [George Pell], the Archdiocese will ensure that the award is paid by indemnifying the second defendant in respect of the award,” the letter said.

The father of the choirboy, who cannot be named for legal reasons, launched his case last month.

His son died of a drug overdose in 2014 and the father only learned of the allegations against Cardinal Pell the following year.

The father is claiming general damages, special damages and seeking compensation for past loss of earning capacity as well as past and future medical expenses.

His solicitor, Lisa Flynn, said the High Court’s decision to quash Cardinal Pell’s conviction would not affect the civil proceedings.

“The High Court made some decisions in relation to the criminal prosecution against [George] Pell. Our case is a civil case against George Pell and the Catholic Archdiocese,” she said.

RETRIEVED

Morgan, Danny. (2022). Cardinal George Pell Civil Case Catholic Archdiocese. Retrieved https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-08-04/cardinal-george-pell-civil-case-catholic-archdiocese/101301514. ABC News, Australia.

When Relationship Abuse Is Hard To Recognize

 | SILVERGIRL

COERCIVE CONTROL

Signs of coercive control are hard to spot; support and information will help.

Great campaign from @CitizensAdvice

By Lisa Aronson Fontes

Paybacks. Silent Treatment. Isolation. Threats. Humiliation. Sometimes even physical abuse. These are the weapons of coercive control, a strategy used by some people against their intimate partners. A relationship that should involve loving support ends up as a trap designed for domination. Although coercive control can show up in a variety of relationships, the most common is one in which a man uses coercive control against his wife or girlfriend. However, people of any gender and orientation(link is external) can be victims or victimizers.

Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors, including physical, sexual, verbal and psychological attacks used to control an intimate partner or family member. Without intervention, violence typically escalates in frequency and severity. safehaventc.org:

People subject to coercive control grow anxious and afraid. Coercive control strips away their independence, sense of self, and basic rights, such as the right to make decisions about their own time, friends, and appearance.

Many men who use coercive control also abuse partners physically or sexually, but some use coercive control without physical violence. Outsiders may not be able to see the signs of coercive control in a couple; those who use it are often quite charming.

 (Do you know someone who is being controlled in this way? Do you wonder if your relationship is too controlling? Here’s a checklist(link is external) from my book, Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship(link is external).)

Victims of coercive control often feel like hostages. Over time, being grilled, criticized, stalked, and monitored may seem routine and inescapable. Victims often blame themselves as they feel despairing and disoriented. It’s easy for a person in this position to lose confidence and accept a partner’s view of reality. They may feel confused as they are told again and again that they themselves have triggered their partner’s behaviors by doing something “wrong.” At the same time, to keep the peace, victims may suppress their own desires, silence their voices, and detach from loved ones. Unfortunately, victims often do not see the connection between their partner’s control and their own isolation until time has passed. Losing self-confidence and close relationships at the same time can be paralyzing.

People who get caught in the web of a controlling person are no different from others. They just have the bad luck to become involved with an abuser at a time when they are especially vulnerable. Typically, an abuser will lavish attention on a woman at the beginning of the relationship. Over time, he becomes jealous, monitors her whereabouts, and restricts her interactions with others. His partner thinks the original “helpful man” is the “real” him, and if she does things right, he’ll go back to being wonderful again. At times he may indeed act loving, if this seems like the best way to maintain his control. Loving acts become another controlling tactic.

Once a controlling man has caught a woman in his web, he will do everything he can to prolong the relationship. Sometimes he will threaten, stalk, assault, or even murder her if she leaves or he suspects she’s trying to leave. For this reason, even if there is no physical violence it is important for a person who is being controlled to contact a domestic violence agency and devise a safety plan.

Only a couple of decades ago, society named and recognized the problems of sexual harassment, dating violence, marital rape, and stalking. Coercive control needs to be similarly named and recognized, so we can begin to address it. We all need to learn more, so we can offer the right kinds of support(link is external) and not allow victims to become isolated.

If you don’t like the word “victim,” feel free to substitute “survivor” or another term that you prefer. 

RETRIEVED

Offending Institution: St Vincent’s Orphanage, Clontarf 


Sexual abuse was rampant at St Joseph’s Orphanage in Clontarf, WA. The Christian Brothers would leer at the boys while they showered, and in the evenings, the Brothers would choose boys to take to their bedrooms. One of the survivors said this was “pretty much a nightly occurrence, or at least it occurred more often than not”…

Discover the horrific history of St Joseph’s Orphanage.
/ / /
RETRIEVED
Kelso Lawyers. (2022). St Vincents Orphanage Clontarf, from https://kelsolawyers.com/au/institutions/st-vincents-orphanage-clontarf/?goal=0_8de5cf57f7-b1db0993e0-26105593
READ MORE

POSTS/Messages

To all of those who’ve sent in WP Messages to this RoyalCommBBC blog, I am sorry I haven’t responded to your messages. Although I’m now able to partly post new pieces, I’m not able to access your messages. If possible, please COPY + PASTE them into either an eMail OR TXT:

treacl@icloud.com

0410 277 791

Baptists: “they’re a law unto themselves”

Despite Baptist churches (+7th Day Adventists & Jehovah’s Witnesses) being framed as though each individual location are ‘seperate entities’, NRS acknowledgement under CARC conditions has included Institutions on a state-by-state level. As such, direct personal responses will be made on behalf of these state representatives. Under which these state bodies will be responsible for “coercive control, indoctrinations & scapegoating”, in association with the “abuses & impacts” (BraveHearts psychology, 2022).

https://www.narcissisticabuserehab.com/tag/scapegoating/

As some of us have been taken through multiple ‘levels’ of CSA, this is where “Complex PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) also adds to the atypical occasions on NRS databases. Although I had previously suggested this in both my Private CARC Session and in my NRS Counselling, it wasn’t until I started to share an ‘ideas diagram’ with my psychologist, that another POV was made. It can be complex explaining, these complex settings, which are often covered by complex secrecy!

https://silvergirlshine.wordpress.com/2015/07/16/breaking-free-from-being-the-family-scapegoat/

REFERENCES

Direct personal responses

Introduction

A direct personal response (DPR) is one of the 3 components offered through the Scheme to eligible people.

Participating in a DPR is an opportunity for people who have experienced abuse while in the ‘care’ of an institution to share their experience of abuse, to the extent they wish to do so, with a representative of the institution and to have them hear, recognise and acknowledge their story. The institution’s representative may apologise on behalf of the institution and explain the steps the institution has taken or will take to prevent abuse happening again in the future.

A DPR can be given through a face-to-face meeting between a person and a representative of the institution, a written letter, or any other method preferred by the person and agreed to by the institution.

All participating institutions must participate in a DPR with a person who requests it, except where it would risk causing harm. Institutions must provide DPRs in line with the NRS DPR Framework.

Taken from NRS, 2022: https://guides.dss.gov.au/national-redress-guide/5/3

Although this provided DPR info sounds fairly straight-forward, I can let readers know that it’s far from that. For some of us who’re also dealing with related issues, having to relive the same moments for unfamiliar ’help’ can unfortunately cause you to relive the same moments for the 3rd-4th-or even 5th time! It’s great having a chance to reconnect, with those ’in the know’ who’ll be able to recognise your past-current-future lifestyle. This can be a great stage, to finally get ’official statements’ for YOUR ordeals – directly! Please take it from someone whose had to go off the comfortable track – reach out to the suitable Counselling people.

Thanks to Australia’s impact of climate change & covid19:

  • my NRS 1. has been submitted;
  • NRS 2. still awaiting ”Institutional Responses”;
  • NRS 3. is now having experienced Counsellors helping me.
#mackaycartoons, retrieved 2022.

“There’s always a bigger wave …” (common saying). CSA Survivours should try to keep in mind, that you’re not in this alone + they’re more sources coming forward: other surviving-victims, Counsellors, Government Sources & Law-enforcement (Police, solicitors & judges).

REFERENCES