Take Your Power Back: Healing Lessons, Tips, and Tools for Abuse Survivors
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Take your power back, Evelyn M. Ryan
If āIād been looking for āthis kinda bookā, for so longā sounds familiar – this could be the answer! Both suggested + reviewed by others in our league, here are some short examples of what it contains:
āAs you discover and come into your own truth, you will gain the following:
⢠emotional strength as your self-confidence and self-assurance build
⢠an awareness of what triggers your painful emotions and moods, and an improved ability to cope with them before the pain escalates
⢠more responsiveness to outside influences as you become less reactive
⢠a feeling of safety in your own body
⢠confidence in your ability to consciously choose your response to situations that are in your best interest with due consideration for others, rather than emotionally gambling by unconsciously reacting in unhealthy ways to gain othersā approval and avoid pain
Mentors, coaches, and therapists can be instrumental in guiding you through the process, but the answers to truth-based healing reside in us. We must seek them out and apply them by reaching into the core of our being for the answers. The point is this:
You must uncover and discover to recover.ā
Ryan, Evelyn M. (2015). Excerpt from (p.25/188)
This book isnāt an easy read, but thatās not what readers of it are looking for. Answers, methods + solutions are what it contains, which is what this writing aims for! If anything can make surviving-victims of child-sexual-abuse feel better, itās knowing that there are things like this book.
ā«ļø Neuroscientific and other research confirm that memory is not a single entity and that different kinds of memory are stored in different parts of the brain. ā«ļøIn broad terms there are two types of memory. Explicit memory is conscious and can be expressed verbally, while implicit memory is largely unconscious and non-verbal. ā«ļøExplicit memory requires focused attention to consolidate while implicit memory is encoded outside of awareness. ā«ļøBoth explicit and implicit memory also include subcategories. For explicit memory, these include declarative (also called `semanticā) and episodic (also called `autobiographicalā or `narrativeā) memory. ā«ļøDeclarative memory (i.e. explicit memory type 1) is the only subcategory of memory that can be deliberately called up, i.e. consciously remembered. It conveys pieces of information to others and has been described as `coldā for this reason (Levine, ibid: 15-16). ā«ļøBy contrast, episodic (i.e. explicit memory type 2, also called `autobiographicalā and `narrativeā) memory can be described as `warmā and textured (Levine, 2015: 16). Episodic memory `emerges somewhat spontaneouslyā, and can be `infused with feeling tones and vitalityā (Levine, ibid: 16-17). E.g. `I remember when I first saw the lakeā¦ā It is less conscious than the `shopping listā type of declarative memories but `more consciousā¦than implicit memoriesā. It forms `a dynamic interface between the `rationalā (explicit/declarative) and `irrationalā (implicit/emotional) realmsā (Levine, ibid: 16-17). ā«ļøThe subcategories of implicit memory can be described as `emotionalā and `proceduralā. Emotional memory ( i.e. implicit memory type 1) puts us in touch with what we are feeling, helps us signal our feelings and needs to others, and is `experienced in the body as physical sensationsā (Levine, 2015: 22; emphasis added). It may also be elicited by an environmental cue such as a smell, sight or sound.
ā«ļøProcedural memories (i.e. implicit memory type 2.)`are the impulses, movements, and internal body sensations that guide us through the how to of our various actions, skills, attractions, and repulsionsā (Levine, 2015: 25). They help us carry out tasks automatically. Procedural memories may be further subdivided into three groupings of learned motor actions, hardwired emergency responses, and response tendencies of approach or avoidance and attraction or repulsion. ā«ļøEveryday use of the word `memoryā (but also in psychology textbooks; Brand & McEwen, 2014) generally refers only to conscious, explicit memory which ignores the ongoing importance and various forms of implicit memories (Levine, 2015).
MEMORY, BRAIN DEVELOPMENT, AND PROCESSES
ā«ļøImplicit memory develops before explicit memory, as conscious recall depends on development of the hippocampus in the second year of life. ā«ļøConscious (explicit) memory, conscious thought and verbalisation are privileged both by health professions and by society in general (Levine, 2015). ā«ļøImplicit, pre-verbal memories do not `disappearā when the hippocampus develops but are stored in different neural networks and can manifest across the life cycle. ā«ļøMemory is not `a discrete phenomenon, a fixed construction, cemented permanently onto a stone foundationā (Levine, 2015: 2). Rather it is complex and involves different types and subcategories which function in different ways. ā«ļøMemory is impacted by the processes of encoding, consolidation, and retrieval. Encoding (or formation) describes the original neural laying down of memory. Consolidation (or retention) describes the stabilisation and storage of memory (a process involving the hippocampus) after encoding. Retrieval (or recall) describes the remembering, revival or restoration to consciousness of memory first encoded and then consolidated.
ā«ļø`When memories are retrieved, they are susceptible to change, such that future retrievals call upon the changed informationā (Rydberg, 2017:94). Research substantiates that `[m]emory is a reconstructive processā, and that `no memory is a literal account, nor an exact replica, of an experience or eventā (Goodman-Delahunty et al., 2017: 46).
TRAUMATIC MEMORY
`REMEMBERING BY RELIVINGā: TRAUMA, REPETITION & BEHAVIOURAL REENACTMENT
ā«ļøCurrent neuroscientific research confirms that trauma is often remembered through behavioural enactment (van der Kolk, ibid). Traumatised people are frequently unable to speak about their experiences and are `compelled to re-enact them, often remaining unaware of what their behaviour is sayingā (Howell, 2005: 56-57).
ā«ļøRemembering `in the form of physical sensations, automatic responses, and involuntary movementsā (Ogden et al, 2006: 165) is characteristic of trauma: `Traumatic memories may also take the form of unconscious `acting-outā behavioursā (Levine, 2015: 8).
ā«ļøThe need to resolve traumatic experience can fuel repetitive and compulsive actions and behaviours (`Unresolved experiences tend to haunt us until they can be finishedā; van der Hart et al, 2006: 246). ā«ļøThe relationship between repetitive, problematic behaviour and unresolved trauma needs to be recognised so that trauma survivors can be better supported towards recovery.
REMEMBERING & `FORGETTINGā
ā«ļøWhile our brains are wired to remember experiences important to survival, under some circumstances survival may be assisted by `forgettingā (Levine, 2015; Freyd & Birrell, 2013; Silberg, 2013). ā«ļøAs children depend on adult caregivers, `forgettingā traumatic experiences can have survival value in preserving the attachment bond: `[F]orgetting abuse is a way to preserve the attachment relationship when the abuser is someone the victim is dependent onā (Freyd & Birrell, 2013: 58); `Disruptions in memory may be adaptive⦠if trauma and caregiving emanate from the same sourceā (Silberg, 2013: 12).
ā«ļøThe impacts of stress on the brain, the different neural networks in which memory is stored, the differences between conscious, explicit and unconscious, implicit memory, and the capacity of the mind to compartmentalise and/or detach from experience (`dissociateā) help explain the phenomenon of `recoveredā memory (i.e. delayed onset memory recall).
RECOVERED MEMORY (DELAYED ONSET MEMORY RECALL)
ā«ļøThe term `recovered memoryā describes sudden intrusion of memories which were previously unavailable: `[r]ecovered memories are those memories that have been forgotten for a period and then rememberedā (Barlow et al, 2017: 322).
ā«ļøResearch confirms that trauma can disrupt memory in numerous ways and at any one or more of its various stages (āIf recovered memory experiences appear counter-intuitive, this is in part due to misconceptions about trauma and memoryā;Brewin, 2012:149). ā«ļøDelayed recall of traumatic, implicit memory usually occurs spontaneously, without warning, triggered by a prompt or cue. In trauma, these recovered memory/ies were previously dissociated (i.e. unassimilated and unintegrated) because they were too overwhelming to process. ā«ļøThe phenomenon of traumatic amnesia and subsequent delayed conscious recall of traumatic events is well documented in diverse populations (e.g. war veterans, Holocaust survivors, and survivors of natural disasters) as well as adult survivors of childhood trauma (van der Hart et al, 1999; Elliott, 1999). ā«ļøLargely because of the founding of the so-called False Memory Syndrome Foundation in 1990 -on the premise that people were wrongly accused of sexual abuse on the basis of recovered memories -the term `false memoryā has come to apply solely to the context of recovered memories of child sexual abuse rather than other contexts as well. ā«ļøResearch establishes that recovered memories are no less likely to be reliable than explicit consciously recalled memories which were never forgotten (Barlow et al, 2017,ref. Chu et al, 1999; Williams, 1995; Dalenberg, 2006). ā«ļøIn the current period there Is a contrast between the `fantasyā or `sociocognitive modelā (which proposes that recovered memories result from cultural/environmental influence and/or therapist suggestion) and `the trauma modelā (which notes the intrusion of memories unable to be assimilated because the experiences were too overwhelming (Vissia, Giesen., et al. 2016). The `trauma modelā contends that traumatic implicit memory/ies were dissociated or `split offā from conscious memory and are recovered when they intrude. ā«ļøMemories recovered in therapy represent a small proportion of the total recovered memory reports (Eliott, 1997; Wilsnack, Wonderlich, Kristjanson, Vogeltanz-Holm, & Wilsnack, 2002 cited in Dalenberg et al, 2012) Recovered memories tend to occur without warning and can certainly occur outside of psychotherapy or in its absence.
ā«ļøStrong, recurrent, and/or disabling, traumatic memories, including delayed onset recall (recovered) memories, may lead the person to become conscious of what they signify. While this experience can be destabilising at first, it can subsequently enable integration of the previously split off (dissociated) memory and pave the way for trauma recovery.
`BETRAYAL BLINDNESSā
ā«ļøāBetrayal blindnessā, or āunawareness and forgettingā has survival value. It stems from the concept of `betrayal traumaā, which assists understanding of how the `forgettingā of early life abuse serves to preserve the attachment bond to caregivers on which children depend (Freyd, 1991) It also has wide application to a range of contexts: `Although there are various ways to remain blind to betrayal, perhaps the most effective way is to forget the event entirelyā (Freyd & Birrell, 2013: 58). ā«ļøThe `survival strategyā of betrayal blindness applies to relationships in which dependence of some kind fosters the need to preserve the relationship and can `trump the need to take protective actionā (Freyd & Birrell, 2103, p.56) ā«ļøāNot seeingā, `not knowingā and `not rememberingā traumatic experience is not confined to children (`Adults are also prone to a kind of magical thinking ā¦to gain a sense of control over overwhelming eventsā (Chu, 2011: 34).
ā«ļøWhile `forgettingā the trauma of betrayal (i.e. conscious explicit absence of recall as distinct from implicit memory of traumatic experience) potentially assists survival it can also threaten health if the trauma is not resolved.
THE DYNAMICS OF DISCLOSURE
ā«ļøThe process of disclosing traumatic memory (i.e. when able to be spoken about, which involves a different area of the brain and depends on a number of contingencies) `is highly dependent on the reactions of othersā (Freyd & Birrell, 2013: 126). ā«ļø`{M]ost people who experience childhood sexual abuse do not disclose it until adulthood, and many may never tell at allā (Freyd & Birrell, 2013, p.123). ā«ļøDisclosure is often not a single event, but rather a process affected by social context, issues of safety and the potential for adverse repercussions.
ā«ļøāNondisclosure, delayed disclosure, and retraction are particularly likely in cases in which the perpetrator is close to the victimā (Freyd & Birrell, 2013, p.123).
THE RELIABILITY OF MEMORY AND THE ROLE OF SOCIAL CONTEXT
ā«ļøDepending on the context and conditions, both remembering and `forgettingā (i.e. in the explicit, conscious sense because `the body remembersā [Rothschild, 2000] at an implicit level) can be healing and/or destructive ā«ļøSocial contexts and power disparities, as well as neurological factors, affect the encoding, retrieval, and reliability of memory: `[s]ocial power not only dictates what is appropriate to say out loud, but even what it is appropriate to rememberā (Barlow et al, 2017: 320). ā«ļøāBoth internal and external processes operate to keep us unawareā (Freyd & Birrell, 2013: 95); `To the extent that it is not safe to disclose externally, it is not safe to know, or disclose internally, to oneselfā (ibid: 116).
ā«ļøāContrary to the widespread myth that traumatic events are seldom if ever forgotten, much trauma is not remembered until something happens to bring it to mindā (Brewin, 2012: 165). ā«ļøCurrent research establishes that memory is not fixed and unchanging and that all memory -implicit and explicit -undergoes a degree of reconstruction. This does not mean that either is necessarily unreliable. ā«ļøResearch has shown that recovered (implicit) memory can be as accurate as continuous i.e. (explicit, conscious) memory (Dalenberg et al. 2012): `Memories that are recovered ā those that were forgotten and subsequently recalled-can often be corroborated and are no more likely to be confabulated than are continuous memoriesā (Chu, 2011, p.80 citing Dalenberg, 1996; Kluft, 1995; Lewis, Yeager, Swiza, Pincus & Lewis, 1997); also Dalenberg et al, 2012). ā«ļøNumerous legal cases in various parts of the world have demonstrated that recovered memories have been verified and corroborated by independent evidence, admissions of guilt by perpetrators, or findings of guilt by courts. https://blogs.brown.edu/recoveredmemory/case-archive/legal-cases/
ā«ļøāThe cognitive processes that underlie everyday memory are the same processes that lead to errors in processing traumatic memoriesā¦Like any memory , the availability of memory for traumatic events depends on how it is assessedā (Barlow, 2017: 323, referencing Sivers, 2002). ā«ļøAssessment of the reliability of memory must take account of a range of factors. These include the social context of memory, the possibility of betrayal trauma, the survival value of (explicit, conscious) `forgettingā, the impact of power disparities, and the centrality of emotional and physical safety around recall and disclosure.
To read the full paper The Memory of Truth and the Truth of Memory ā Different Types of Memory and the Significance of Trauma; click here
To read our four summary Fact Sheets on Memory ā Classification, Understanding Memory, Understanding Traumatic Memory, Recovered memory, click here
Further to an earlier post, while working further through the āApologiesā (Reconciliation) part of my NRS Submission I was again contacted by a Parent. Despite being arranged, that all messages are to go through a Support Agency āparents always know betterā … At the last calm message, I had had enough. Assertively, I laid out some key points (beyond my control) that have been bases for the other CSA instances in my life. Shortly after, I received this TXT message:
(Name), I don’t understand this very direct message, It seems as though someone or an organisation on your behalf, Egā¦..NDIS? Have sent it? Who?
Also I am alarmed with reference to CSA & NRS, who is this?
What’s Goodbye appologies-submissions??
SMS data 28.11.20.
(Name), all I asked on the previous sms to you was, can we have a coffee soon.
ā¤ļø & š
SMS data 28.11.20.
These responses prove that despite believing that a victimās comments to one parent being truthful, only select parts of this info was exchanged with the other parent. This was also an influence of the competitive siblingās suspected-narcissism (alike the previous marriageās attacks). Many parts of both these family issues run parallel to the marriage issues.
Father and son conflict, agression, abuse, misunderstanding. (Dreamtime; Retrieved 2020)
This misunderstood response was from my asserted response, to my familyās misunderstanding of the Disability resulting from my CSA experiences (under their āloving & protecting, Christian parentingā). As the truth is coming out in numerous other circles, so too is a major part of my own. Following is my assertive message, triggering the above response:
Tony is on the NDIS, for an often misunderstood injury, (Siblingās) denial of it is both perjury (Court) & adds to my lost hope. From a history of apologies/denials (Sibling), effects of a childhood of CSA, our dysfunctional family became obvious: my complete withdrawal is required (I need to enjoy my life). Repairs are possible, similar to the style of family Tony is breaking away from. Wrongs have happened (CSA & distinction), if unaddressed they often continue.
Goodbye (CSA NRS Apologies-Submission will soon be sent)
SMS data 28.11.20.
Despite having spoken openly (I believed) to each parent in the past, any dependence on their memory of these moments appears alike āin one ear, out the otherā; despite my continued reminders (texts, media & conversations); recorded notes of supposed āpromisesā; getting others involved (3rd eye POV); any of these forms of āproofā gets disregarded, now surfacing that a parent admitted to agreeing with another sibling as they were āafraid to lose contact with their grandchildrenā. Justice does not exist, when Emotional Blackmail is played. Now, Iāll await what results from the NRS Apology.
Trauma-Informed Community (Know More 2020)
These experiences have been posted to this Blog, as numerous other past students and their families are curious or unaware of the instabilities that exist. Screens, or facades are frequently made to give differences between the unstable Private effects of family tensions and the typical social Public reputation. Through the building of a Trauma-Informed Community (Blue Knot 2020), our lifestyles should become stronger than how those of shallower, CSA āhunting groundsā previously were.
⢠The word ātraumaā describes events and experiences which are so stressful that they are overwhelming. ⢠The word ātraumaā also describes the impacts of the experience/s. The impacts depend on a number of factors. ⢠People can experience trauma at any age. Many people experience trauma across different ages. ⢠Trauma can happen once, or it can be repeated. Experiences of trauma are common and can have many sources. ⢠Trauma can affect us at the time it occurs as well as later. If we donāt receive the right support, trauma can affect us right through our life. ⢠We all know someone who has experienced trauma. It can be a friend, a family member, a colleague, or a client⦠or it can be us. ⢠It can be hard to recognise that a person has experienced trauma and that it is still affecting them. ⢠Trauma is often experienced as emotional and physical harm. It can cause fear, hopelessness and helplessness. ⢠Trauma interrupts the connections (āintegrationā) between different aspects of the way we function. ⢠Trauma can stop our body systems from working together. This can affect our mental and physical health and wellbeing.
⢠While people who experience trauma often have similar reactions, each person and their experience is unique. ⢠Trauma can affect whole communities. It can also occur between and across generations, e.g. the trauma of our First Nations people. ⢠For our First Nations people, colonisation and policies such as the forced removal of children shattered important bonds between families and kin and damaged peopleās connection to land and place. ⢠Many different groups of people experience high levels of trauma. This includes refugees and asylum seekers, as well as women and children. This is not to deny that many men and boys also experienced trauma. ⢠Certain life situations and difference can make trauma more common. People with disability of all ages experience and witness trauma more often than people without disability. LGBTQI people also experience high levels of trauma which is often due to discrimination.
In response to the outbreak of COVID-19 (Coronvirus), Blue Knot have prepared some fact sheets to help members of the community, as well as health professionals take care of themselves and others during this challenging time.
Here at Blue Knot Foundation, we will continue to provide as many of our usual services as we can. As the health and wellbeing of our staff is our absolute priority we are rapidly transitioning our teams to working from home. We will still deliver all of our counselling services ā Blue Knot Helpline and redress application support as well as the National Counselling and Referral Service supporting people affected by or engaging with the Disability Royal Commission. Our counselling services will maintain the high degree of professionalism, privacy and confidentiality currently provided. Should there be any disruptions to our services during this transitions, we anticipate that they will be minor and temporary. Our focus is for our trauma specialist counsellors to continue to provide the counselling, support and information currently provided through all the usual numbers and channels (see below for further information).
We will also continue to disseminate our monthly Breaking Free and quarterly Blue Knot Review publications as always. Blue Knot will be additionally releasing new publications and fact sheets in the coming months, including resources related to caring for ourselves during the Coronavirus outbreak.
Ongoing Counselling and Support Services
Call 1300 657 380 Mon-Sun between 9-5 AEDT to reach our Blue Knot Helpline and redress services.
Call 1800 421 468 to reach our National Counselling and Referral Service (supporting the Disability Royal Commission) or go here and to find out the other ways with which you can connect with this service.
The Australian Government has released an official app with the information you need to know about Coronavirus (COVID-19).
The Australian Government has also created a new WhatsApp feature.
Message +61 400 253 787 or go to aus.gov.au/whatsapp in your web browser to get coronavirus information you can trust from the official Australian Government chatbot.
Whatsapp is available from the Apple Store or Google Play.
Please do what you can to look after yourself, stay connected and reach out when you need to.
Blue Knot Helpline 1300 657 380 Mon-Sun 9am-5pm AEST/ADST
Does the mention of any of the terms of ācorruption, abuse, deception, obstructionā cause a creepy feeling, the hairs on the back of your neck stand, or a chill run down your spine? You may have been effected by any of inappropriate issues, that are still becoming prevalent today. Most of us are familiar with the saying of āPower corrupts. Absolute power corrupts, absolutelyā. (Lord Acton)
Translations of this are often made into areas of vulnerability: Teacher-Students (pedophilia), Church Leader-Youth (child sexual abuser), Sports Coach-Player (privatelessons), Disability Carer-disabled (manipulation), Government-Indigenous (stolen generations), Caretaker-Retiree (aged care abuse) and Banks-Customers (coercion). Thankfully, thereās been many Royal Commissions called, with more to come. Our āRoyalCommBBCā is only a small example of what can be possible, when the Sharing of beneficial Information-News-Experiences-Solutions are made.
A great part of any Institution, is that like members typically stick together. Itās been found that when āreality hits homeā, many of us acknowledge that theyāre not alone AND there is a simple solution available. This is where RCbbc can help, in supporting past Students, Parents and Friends in contacting experts in their fields.
BLUE KNOT FOUNDATION FACT SHEET FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (INCLUDING ABUSE)
1 Childhood trauma stems from overwhelming negative experiences in early life. It can take many forms (eg. sexual,emotional,physicalabuseandneglect).Itcanalso occur without abuse if early caregivers were unable to meet your emotional needs (e.g. because they had unresolved trauma histories themselves).
2 Unresolved childhood trauma negatively impacts 8 health and well-being in adulthood. It affects both emotional and physical health (the whole personā) and the full impacts may not become apparent until years later.
3 It is possible to heal from childhood trauma. Research shows that with the right support, even severe early life trauma can be resolved. It also shows that when an adult has resolved their childhood trauma, it benefits their children or the children they may later have. Children develop coping mechanisms to deal with the effects of childhood trauma. It is normal to want to feel better, and if you were traumatised as a child the need to escapeā feelings can be intense.
4 Effects of childhood trauma include anxiety, depression, health problems (emotional and physical), disconnection, isolation, confusion, being āspaced outā, and fear of intimacy and new experiences. There 10 is no one size fits allā, but reduced quality of life is a constant.
5 Survivors are often on āhigh alertā. Even minor stress can trigger āout of proportionā responses. Your body continues to react as if you are still in danger, and this can be explained in terms of unresolved prior experience.
6 Survivors often struggle with shame and self-blame. But childhood trauma and its established effects are NOT your fault, even though you may feel otherwise (often because this is what you were encouraged to believe as a child when you were vulnerable and still developing).
7 Self-blame can be especially strong if you experienced any positive physical sensations (which is not an uncommon body response) in relation to abuse you have undergone. Physical reaction to sexual abuse does NOT mean desire for, or agreement to, it. Children cannot consent to, much less ācauseā, sexual or other forms of abuse.
8 Children develop coping mechanisms to deal with the effects of childhood trauma. It is normal to want to feel better, and if you were traumatised as a child the need to `escapeā feelings can be intense.
9 Coping mechanisms develop for a reason, serve a purpose, and can be highly effective in the short term. But some methods of coping (e.g. excessive alcohol use) can be risky in themselves. Addictions (to food, sex, drugs), avoidance of contact with others (which reinforces isolation) and compulsive behaviours of various kinds (in attempts to run from the underlying problem which, because it is unaddressed, doesnāt go away) are all ways people try to cope.
10 Coping mechanisms develop for a reason, serve a purpose, and can be highly effective in the short term. But some methods of coping (e.g. excessive alcohol use) can be risky in themselves. Addictions (to food, sex, drugs), avoidance of contact with others (which reinforces isolation) and compulsive behaviours of various kinds (in attempts to run from the underlying problem which, because it is unaddressed, doesnāt go away) are all ways people try to cope.
11 Coping mechanisms develop for a reason, serve a purpose, and can be highly effective in the short term. But some methods of coping (e.g. excessive alcohol use) can be risky in themselves. Addictions (to food, sex, drugs), avoidance of contact with others (which reinforces isolation) and compulsive behaviours of various kinds (in attempts to run from the underlying problem which, because it is unaddressed, doesnāt go away) are all ways people try to cope.
Of serious concern amongst most communities is the frequent questioning of “well, why didn’t you tell us closer to when it happened?” (delay) and/or “how do we know you’re not making it up?” (truth telling). As negatively-impacting as each of these statements may be one the victim-survivour of Child Sexual Abuse, the fact that they’ve reached the point they are willing to speak of these past events and it’s receiving a defensive reaction of disbelief, only adds to their sorrow.
Now would be ideal timing to instigate Counselling, if the abused-child/adult has not undertaken this momentous step. Knowing that to make this fundamental leap, is of importance on many levels. Parental or Carer disagreement with this fundamental step, can have just as devastating effects on the surviving-victim of these abuses. Research has shown that children show more honesty, whereas the perpetrating adults frequently are lying, to claim their lack of guilt.
Having heard other Survivours get this response from their families AND hearing near-identical comments from my own family, these may be included in the Institutional-training of ‘Defensive‘ attitudes. Ironic, that these same churches preach to “love thy neighbour, as if their your own family” (Matthew 12:31) – yet disbelief of (finally) being told the reasons for years of sorrow are disbelieved is similar to ‘shooting yourself in the other foot’…
Of great interest is the growth in visits of this āRoyalCommBBC.blogā! As more acceptance, coping & awareness of these HIDDEN patterns becomes available – there is ālight at the end of the tunnelā. Many Survivours are delayed in speaking about their past, which Counsellors-Psychologists are available to help you out. From the ChildAbuseRoyalCommission & NationalRedressSchemesites, the following details are provided. If you feel like youād like to talk with someone: BlueKnot (ASCA) have provided us extreme help on 1300 657 380. Finding someone you find comfortable, may take some time, yet these are a great place to start.