A final note on looking after yourself

These are just some of the ways you can practice self-care. Taking care of yourself can be done in little ways that do not take much time as well as bigger ways. What is important is that you try and do something when you can that lifts your spirits. You have been through a terrible ordeal and the important thing is that you focus on you and make self-care a priority, because you deserve it!

Keep in mind that it is normal to have bad days. It is normal to have days where you think you can face what has happened, and days when you feel like you cannot get through another moment. Recovery from sexual assault is about helping you to get your life back to a place where you feel like you are in control. Beginning to do some self-care is a good place to start, even if it means that you do only one thing for a few minutes and build on it on the good days.

 Thankfully, I’ve kept one of the booklets I was given yrs ago. Now that I’ve had a chance to focus on particular items, I went straight to a section that is meaningful for CSA Survivours. Now is the time, that I can start looking after myself. Getting to this stage could still be hard for other Survivours & RCbbc Blog still has copies of Living Well’s Booklets, whose Downloads are at https://www.livingwell.org.au/get-support/living-well-app/.

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How many concealments???

As the Catholic Church’s Global traditions continue to be shocked’, by the revelations of Millenia of (hidden) Child Sexual Abuse & disagreements with the Scriptures that they supposedly preach: this unravelling Double Standard is rupturing far more than the “fire & brimstone” as foretold in the Hebrew & New Testament Bibles.

Following the 2013-17 Child Abuse Royal Commission, it is becoming clearer the deeper impacts of the Institutional-related Child Sexual Abuses. Another group of the schools in the GPS (Greater Public Schools) cohort, were those influenced by the Catholic Church. Despite the Imprisonment of (Cardinal) George Pell in 2017, other previous and future cases continue to ‘prune back’ this vile & inappropriate behaviour. Resulting from a reading through a Royal Commission Witness Statement from Peter Clinch, Province Leader of the Congregation of Christian Brothers.

It was during the documentation of the Public & Private frequency of the attempts at Institutions in coping with these revealed matters, that the overlapping truths of the immensely, deceptive nature’s concealed (hidden) beneath much of our social fabric. As disappointing as CSA occurring, it does give a wider understanding of the apparent ‘breeding ground’ that Brisbane’s & South East Queensland’s GPS system has demonstrated. BBC, BGS & IGS have already had multiple instances revealed. Most recently, GT, NC & TSS have been revealed.

Through this, a can-of-worms has truly been identified – which many CSA Survivours & Perpetrators have long known of. It is even now being acknowledged that rushed Court approvals are needed, to ensure that some of these elderly/terminal CSA Survivours have their Applications rushed – before they may lose their chance to enjoy spending it.

Dramatic Boost: ~4,000 / 10 days!

Nick Lloyd’s Supreme Court Trial brought with it some great attention. Although the Trial had been disbanded, many Old Boys (past BBC Students) have had their emotions effected. It’s typical for any of this such news to rekindle angst, that had remained hidden for decades. As families should understand what effects may be had, it’s suitable that Counselling is arranged.

If you need immediate support, 24-hour telephone assistance is available through: (from NationalRedress.gov.au)

beyondblue: 1300 224 636

1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732

MensLine Australia: 1300 789 978

Lifeline: 13 11 14

Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467

eNews #2 : Nick Lloyd SPECIAL

We’re pleased to announce that our 2nd Ed. of the RCbbc eNews has been Published!

Nick Lloyd exiting Supreme Court.

In keeping with Updating of things, this Ed, we’ve got a wider variety of formats available: PDF & ePub, which will allow these publications to be added to Kindle & Amazon Libraries.

1st page of this Special Ed on Nick Lloyd. URL / Links will be posted ASAP.

Understanding your legal rights under the National Redress Scheme

This newsletter provides you with information about your legal options in regards to the National Redress Scheme (the Scheme).

For more information or to find support services, visit the http://nationalredress.gov.au/ or call 1800 737 377 Monday to Friday (local time) excluding public holidays.

Understanding your legal rights under the National Redress Scheme

You are not required to use a lawyer to apply for redress. However, you may wish to seek legal advice to understand if redress if the best option for you and the impact it may have on other legal rights.

If you want to access legal support, the Scheme offers free legal advice through knowmore or call 1800 605 762 (Free call).

You can also choose to use a private lawyer. This will be at your own cost. Below are some questions you may have regarding the use of lawyers and the Scheme. 

Frequently Asked Questions

 

Am I required to seek legal advice?

No. However, you may wish to seek legal advice as this may help you through the process and allow you to completely understand your legal rights.

Can I get free legal advice?

Yes. The Scheme provides free legal support services through ‘knowmore’.

What can knowmore provide?

knowmore is available for free to all people thinking about applying to the Scheme.

knowmore can provide you with:

  • legal support through the application process,
  • legal advice on your options, including the availability of other forms of action or redress aside from the Scheme,
  • assistance understanding the legal effects of accepting an offer of redress,
  • advice on the effect of confidentiality agreements in past proceedings,
  • take complaints about the Scheme,
  • support obtaining records,
  • linking with specialist counselling, support services and victims’ support groups, and
  • any other legal support needs, through providing information and referral support.

 

What is knowmore?

knowmore is a legal service funded by the Commonwealth Government through the Attorney-General’s Department.

knowmore delivers free services nationally from its three offices in Brisbane, Melbourne and Sydney with regular visits to other States and Territories. These services are delivered through its multidisciplinary team of lawyers, social workers and counsellors.

knowmore has a proven track record of providing legal support services to survivors of child sexual abuse. It has the infrastructure and expertise deliver national, quality and trauma‑informed legal services.
 

Do I have to use knowmore?

No. You are not required to seek legal advice to apply to the Scheme. You can also use a private lawyer. This may be at your own cost.
 

Should I seek legal advice?

You may wish to seek legal advice, with the Scheme offering free advice through knowmore. While the Scheme is designed to be non-legalistic, some people may need help to complete their application to ensure that all the necessary information has been included. knowmore can help with this.

For many people making an application for redress will be the right thing to do. However, not everyone is eligible for redress. Some people may also want to consider if civil litigation is a better option for them.

If you have received redress under other schemes or through past actions or claims you can still apply to this Scheme; however, prior payments may be taken into account.

If you accept an offer of redress you must sign a release document. By signing this release, you will not be able to continue or to commence any civil or common law proceedings against the responsible institution or its officials. This is an important right to give up. knowmore can give you advice about the release and the legal options that you might have apart from redress.
 

Where do I get support?

Redress Support Services are available to help people understand the Scheme, provide emotional support and guide people through the application process. A list of support services is available on the website.

Those who need immediate emotional support can contact:
·         Beyond Blue 1300 224 636
·        
 Mensline 1300 78 99 78
·        
 Lifeline 13 11 14
·        
 1800 Respect 1800 737 732
·        
 Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467
·         In an emergency call Triple Zero (000)

 

Find out more

To find out more, you can call the National Redress Scheme on 1800 737 377Monday to Friday, 8am to 5pm (local time), excluding public holidays. You can also visit the website the National Redress Scheme website.


RETRIEVED eMail & https://mailchi.mp/4da97a10e5de/understanding-your-legal-rights-under-the-national-redress-scheme?e=5ccca9918d

Jury discharged in trial of former Brisbane Boys College teacher charged with indecent treatment

May 9, 2019 1:10am Kay DibbenThe Courier-Mail

Former Brisbane Boys College teacher, Nicholas Lloyd (sunglasses) pictured leaving the District and Supreme Court, Brisbane. Picture: AAP Image/Josh Woning

THE JURY in the trial of a former Brisbane Boys College science teacher charged with indecent treatment of a male student more than 20 years ago has been discharged.

Brisbane District Court Judge Nicole Kefford made the decision after a juror was unable to attend court for the second and third days of the trial of Nicholas Frederick Lloyd.

Lloyd had pleaded not guilty to indecently dealing with a child under 16, who was in his care at Brisbane Boys College at Toowong in the 1990s.

Discharging the jury today, Judge Kefford told the jurors there was also an issue about witness availability.

Crown prosecutor Toby Corsbie had closed the Crown case on Tuesday, after the alleged victim, his mother, two former BBC students, a former principal and a police officer had given evidence.

The trial did not go ahead on Wednesday, the second day, because of a sick juror.

Judge Kefford adjourned the case until May 15, for discussion about a new trial date

RETRIEVED https://amp.couriermail.com.au/news/queensland/crime-and-justice/jury-discharged-in-trial-of-former-brisbane-boys-college-teacher-charged-with-indecent-treatment/news-story/1e04caa9dc2eeb6a0e6383934b5dcd06

Former teacher facing indecent treatment trial

One of BBC’s previous Staff (Nick Lloyd) today began being confronted by Court Charges. The Courier Mail had published this Article, which we hope to re-publish ASAP. The dramatic boosts in our recent Visitors had indicated searches for “Nick Lloyd” & various other BBC Teachers. These Stats should be included in future eNews.

Sudden surge in Blog visitors!

While we are quietly confident at some reasons for the sudden jump to around 600 visitors, each & everyone of you are welcome to ask any questions, post any comments & piece together how you may want your location layer out.

We are planning an update to this site, in the near future. Your rapid visit, may be the motivation needed!

16 ‘Hidden’ Habits of People Who Experienced Child Abuse | The Mighty

Juliette Virzi  •  FollowOctober 31, 2018

It has been said that “no one escapes childhood unscathed.” But sayings like these can have an especially significant meaning for a person who was abused as a child. Unfortunately the effects of childhood abuse don’t usually stay confined to childhood — they often reach into our experience of adulthood.

Maybe your experience growing up with abuse left you with a steady internal monologue of not good enough, not good enough, not good enough whenever you try to accomplish a task. Maybe the only way you can fall asleep is if you rock yourself to sleep — literally rocking back and forth on your bed. Or maybe you experience intense internal shame that no one sees behind the smile you plaster on your face every day.

We wanted to know what “hidden” habits people who were abused as kids have now as adults, so we asked our Mighty community to share their experiences with us.

No matter what your experience of childhood abuse was, it is important to remember you are never alone and there is help available. If you need support right now, reach the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741741.

Here’s what our community had to say:

1. Rocking Back and Forth Before Going to Sleep

“I rock myself back and forth to sleep every night. I can’t stop myself from doing it unless I concentrate really hard.” — Vade M.

“I sleep in [the] fetal position every night. I rock back and forth when I get too emotional. I run at any sign of yelling or raising of the voice. When someone cusses at me, I get defensive and angry.” — Leo G.

2. Hiding Food

“I hide food. It sounds ridiculous but I have random stashes of canned food spread throughout my house in the most ridiculous places. I always got shamed for being hungry and fighting for food was commonplace in my house because my parents thought a dinner meant for two people could feed their two growing kids as well as themselves. If I didn’t get much dinner to eat then, ‘Oh well, better luck next time.’ So when I got a little older, I got smarter about stockpiling cans of tuna and soup to eat with the money I made from walking other people’s dogs. It wasn’t too bad then, but it’s still prevalent in my life 14 years later whenever I go grocery shopping.” — Ai L.

3. Engaging in Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors

“Biting and chewing at the inside of my cheek until it bleeds. I’ve also developed a bad habit of picking until I create holes in my feet.” — Patience A.

“I shake my leg and/or fidget with my skin, sometimes causing small sores.” — Princess K.

4. Carrying a “Grounding” Object

“I carry a special pillowcase with me wherever I go. It’s my security blanket. I can’t go anywhere without it. I will play with seams with it in my purse and it’s weird that my hand hangs out in my purse all the time but it’s how I handle my anxiety and my flashbacks and just life.” — Kimberly L.

5. Always Having a Secret “Escape Plan”

“I have a really hard time with people walking up behind me. I always have to have an escape plan, and I hate being cornered or my movement restricted in any way. I was chased and cornered a lot as a child, so it’s very triggering. I also struggle with physical contact, especially when I don’t initiate it.” — Shalene R.

“I always know where every exit and possible hiding place is in a room. It’s the first thing I look for in a new place.” — Jenn S.

6. Having Imaginary Friends

“I’m 37 years old with six imaginary friends. One is a comforting mother to me, and three are parts of little girl me at different traumas in my life that I comfort, as if someone was comforting me during those traumas.” — T B.

7. Not Eating Around Others

“Not eating much when I’m around people, then sneaking and stealing food later. One parent was lenient with what I ate so the other one made up for it by trying to ‘keep me healthy.’ Doesn’t help that the first one was always trying to lose weight and not hiding it.” — Sadie B.

8. Sleeping With a Flashlight

“I sleep with a flashlight always on my bed or constantly in reach of my bed ( so I can see what’s coming if I hear any noise or footsteps). I’ve been doing this since I was 3 years old and never felt safe.” — Linda C.

9. Lying

“I was taught as a child to lie. I was forced to lie to cover my abuser, I was forced to lie by my mother to cover the fact that she didn’t protect me, I was forced to lie by my school system because they didn’t zero in on the fact I was being signed out by my abuser once a week so he could abuse me on his schedule. As an adult, I feel compelled to lie to protect people I shouldn’t have to. It’s an everlasting revolving door.” — Jammie G.

10. Having a Complicated Relationship With Sex

“I started to believe I was only an object. I let people use me because I thought that was what I was supposed to do — especially men. I felt I was supposed to have sex when they wanted to, not when I was ready.” — Maria M.

“I get shameful and feel dirty if I enjoy sex.” — Debbie C.

“[I] couldn’t say no to sexually pleasing others, even if I didn’t want it.” — Miranda D.

11. Feeling Responsible for Other People’s Feelings

“I often feel responsible for how other people feel. I feel guilty when others feel bad, even when the situation has nothing to do with me. I sacrifice my own needs in order to make others feel good.” — Kaitlyn L.

“I feel responsible for other’s feelings and their state in life. Like it’s my responsibility alone to make sure their bills are paid etc. I also adopt animals, and most recently learned that it’s probably because animals don’t withhold affection when they are ‘upset’ with you.” — Summer S.

12. Being Unable to Fully Relax

“I am hyper-aware of my surroundings and find it hard to relax and just be. Sometimes I find myself in a fight-or-flight mode, even if I know I’m safe.” — Anthea V.

13. Never Asking for Help

“I’m too afraid to tell people what’s wrong or ask for help. The first time I went to my mother about an issue (I was being bullied in school), she told me to deal with it myself. As a result, I’ve just allowed things to build up because I’m so afraid I’ll be rejected, that I may as well keep it to myself.” — Veronica S.

14. Being Hypervigilant

“I’m hypervigilant. Physical touch isn’t something I do easily, [and I’m] always looking for exits. I size people up, look for physical vulnerability, [have] strong boundaries [and] over-protect my children. That translates to an overly ‘hermitty’ existence, but I’m not complaining.” —Yoli T.

“Hypervigilance 24/7. It’s helped in some of the jobs I’ve had where you need to be on alert, to mask the true source of my hypervigilance. Being overwhelmed and exhausted and needing time to recharge my batteries after going out with friends. I love to be around people, like going to concerts and stuff, but it takes a few days for me to recover from the sensory overload. Insomnia I’ve learned to just accept is part of my life now.” — Jason T.

15. Pushing People Away

“I push people away when they get close to me. I push people away when I get in fights with people. I am reactive. Negative self-talk. I feel guilty a lot.” — Ryan C.

16. Reminding Yourself You Deserve to Live

“When I’m alone I tell myself I deserve to live, that I deserve to be happy. It’s a struggle every day. I still have suicidal thoughts sometimes, but thankfully I have the most supportive group of people around me who love me. Without them I don’t know where I would be.” — Ginna B.

RETRIEVED https://themighty.com/2018/10/hidden-habits-child-abuse/