Dysfunctional family + National Redress

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How much of “unfair smear-campaigns that will be initiated at breakneck speed to everyone the parents know,
the lack of compassion,
understanding and support from others,
and the loneliness, confusion and grief to process after we sever ties.” … #dysfunctional family? (1 of 2)

…understanding and support from others,
and the loneliness, confusion and grief to process after we sever ties.” … are experienced by those who’ve withdrawn from a #dysfunctional family? #nationalredress is approaching settlement for 1 CSA surviving-victim: ‘Apologies’ awaited. (2 of 2)

RETRIEVED https://sdbcrc.wordpress.com/2021/09/19/dysfunctional-family-national-redress/

Learning the facts is the first step to preventing child sexual abuse.

Through knowing these basic steps, we become more aware of our safety.

Learning the facts is the first step to preventing child sexual abuse.

Recent reads …


Here’s just some of our highest viewed pieces:

learning-the-facts-is-the-first-step-to-preventing-child-sexual-abuse
FACT SHEET ON MEMORY: THE TRUTH OF MEMORY AND THE MEMORY OF TRUTH
ANTHONY KIM BRISBANE BUCHANAN – Sentence
Elite Sydney private schools face sexual abuse suits
Are You Overlooking or Rationalizing Abuse? That’s Denial!
Dubious BBC Staff

FACT SHEET ON MEMORY: THE TRUTH OF MEMORY AND THE MEMORY OF TRUTH


DIFFERENT TYPES OF MEMORY

⚫️ Neuroscientific and other research confirm that memory is not a single entity and that different kinds of memory are stored in different parts of the brain.
⚫️In broad terms there are two types of memory. Explicit memory is conscious and can be expressed verbally, while implicit memory is largely unconscious and non-verbal.
⚫️Explicit memory requires focused attention to consolidate while implicit memory is encoded outside of awareness.
⚫️Both explicit and implicit memory also include subcategories. For explicit memory, these include declarative (also called `semantic’) and episodic (also called `autobiographical’ or `narrative’) memory.
⚫️Declarative memory (i.e. explicit memory type 1) is the only subcategory of memory that can be deliberately called up, i.e. consciously remembered. It conveys pieces of information to others and has been described as `cold’ for this reason (Levine, ibid: 15-16).
⚫️By contrast, episodic (i.e. explicit memory type 2, also called `autobiographical’ and `narrative’) memory can be described as `warm’ and textured (Levine, 2015: 16). Episodic memory `emerges somewhat spontaneously’, and can be `infused with feeling tones and vitality’ (Levine, ibid: 16-17). E.g. `I remember when I first saw the lake…’ It is less conscious than the `shopping list’ type of declarative memories but `more conscious…than implicit memories’. It forms `a dynamic interface between the `rational’ (explicit/declarative) and `irrational’ (implicit/emotional) realms’ (Levine, ibid: 16-17).
⚫️The subcategories of implicit memory can be described as `emotional’ and `procedural’. Emotional memory ( i.e. implicit memory type 1) puts us in touch with what we are feeling, helps us signal our feelings and needs to others, and is `experienced in the body as physical sensations’ (Levine, 2015: 22; emphasis added). It may also be elicited by an environmental cue such as a smell, sight or sound.

⚫️Procedural memories (i.e. implicit memory type 2.)`are the impulses, movements, and internal body sensations that guide us through the how to of our various actions, skills, attractions, and repulsions’ (Levine, 2015: 25). They help us carry out tasks automatically. Procedural memories may be further subdivided into three groupings of learned motor actions, hardwired emergency responses, and response tendencies of approach or avoidance and attraction or repulsion.
⚫️Everyday use of the word `memory’ (but also in psychology textbooks; Brand & McEwen, 2014) generally refers only to conscious, explicit memory which ignores the ongoing importance and various forms of implicit memories (Levine, 2015).

MEMORY, BRAIN DEVELOPMENT, AND PROCESSES

⚫️Implicit memory develops before explicit memory, as conscious recall depends on development of the hippocampus in the second year of life.
⚫️Conscious (explicit) memory, conscious thought and verbalisation are privileged both by health professions and by society in general (Levine, 2015).
⚫️Implicit, pre-verbal memories do not `disappear’ when the hippocampus develops but are stored in different neural networks and can manifest across the life cycle.
⚫️Memory is not `a discrete phenomenon, a fixed construction, cemented permanently onto a stone foundation’ (Levine, 2015: 2). Rather it is complex and involves different types and subcategories which function in different ways.
⚫️Memory is impacted by the processes of encoding, consolidation, and retrieval. Encoding (or formation) describes the original neural laying down of memory. Consolidation (or retention) describes the stabilisation and storage of memory (a process involving the hippocampus) after encoding. Retrieval (or recall) describes the remembering, revival or restoration to consciousness of memory first encoded and then consolidated.

⚫️`When memories are retrieved, they are susceptible to change, such that future retrievals call upon the changed information’ (Rydberg, 2017:94). Research substantiates that `[m]emory is a reconstructive process’, and that `no memory is a literal account, nor an exact replica, of an experience or event’ (Goodman-Delahunty et al., 2017: 46).

TRAUMATIC MEMORY

`REMEMBERING BY RELIVING’: TRAUMA, REPETITION & BEHAVIOURAL REENACTMENT

⚫️Current neuroscientific research confirms that trauma is often remembered through behavioural enactment (van der Kolk, ibid). Traumatised people are frequently unable to speak about their experiences and are `compelled to re-enact them, often remaining unaware of what their behaviour is saying’ (Howell, 2005: 56-57).

⚫️Remembering `in the form of physical sensations, automatic responses, and involuntary movements’ (Ogden et al, 2006: 165) is characteristic of trauma: `Traumatic memories may also take the form of unconscious `acting-out’ behaviours’ (Levine, 2015: 8).

⚫️The need to resolve traumatic experience can fuel repetitive and compulsive actions and behaviours (`Unresolved experiences tend to haunt us until they can be finished’; van der Hart et al, 2006: 246).
⚫️The relationship between repetitive, problematic behaviour and unresolved trauma needs to be recognised so that trauma survivors can be better supported towards recovery.

REMEMBERING & `FORGETTING’

⚫️While our brains are wired to remember experiences important to survival, under some circumstances survival may be assisted by `forgetting’ (Levine, 2015; Freyd & Birrell, 2013; Silberg, 2013).
⚫️As children depend on adult caregivers, `forgetting’ traumatic experiences can have survival value in preserving the attachment bond: `[F]orgetting abuse is a way to preserve the attachment relationship when the abuser is someone the victim is dependent on’ (Freyd & Birrell, 2013: 58); `Disruptions in memory may be adaptive… if trauma and caregiving emanate from the same source’ (Silberg, 2013: 12).

⚫️The impacts of stress on the brain, the different neural networks in which memory is stored, the differences between conscious, explicit and unconscious, implicit memory, and the capacity of the mind to compartmentalise and/or detach from experience (`dissociate’) help explain the phenomenon of `recovered’ memory (i.e. delayed onset memory recall).

RECOVERED MEMORY (DELAYED ONSET MEMORY RECALL)

⚫️The term `recovered memory’ describes sudden intrusion of memories which were previously unavailable: `[r]ecovered memories are those memories that have been forgotten for a period and then remembered’ (Barlow et al, 2017: 322).

⚫️Research confirms that trauma can disrupt memory in numerous ways and at any one or more of its various stages (‘If recovered memory experiences appear counter-intuitive, this is in part due to misconceptions about trauma and memory’;Brewin, 2012:149).
⚫️Delayed recall of traumatic, implicit memory usually occurs spontaneously, without warning, triggered by a prompt or cue. In trauma, these recovered memory/ies were previously dissociated (i.e. unassimilated and unintegrated) because they were too overwhelming to process.
⚫️The phenomenon of traumatic amnesia and subsequent delayed conscious recall of traumatic events is well documented in diverse populations (e.g. war veterans, Holocaust survivors, and survivors of natural disasters) as well as adult survivors of childhood trauma (van der Hart et al, 1999; Elliott, 1999).
⚫️Largely because of the founding of the so-called False Memory Syndrome Foundation in 1990 -on the premise that people were wrongly accused of sexual abuse on the basis of recovered memories -the term `false memory’ has come to apply solely to the context of recovered memories of child sexual abuse rather than other contexts as well.
⚫️Research establishes that recovered memories are no less likely to be reliable than explicit consciously recalled memories which were never forgotten (Barlow et al, 2017,ref. Chu et al, 1999; Williams, 1995; Dalenberg, 2006).
⚫️In the current period there Is a contrast between the `fantasy’ or `sociocognitive model’ (which proposes that recovered memories result from cultural/environmental influence and/or therapist suggestion) and `the trauma model’ (which notes the intrusion of memories unable to be assimilated because the experiences were too overwhelming (Vissia, Giesen., et al. 2016). The `trauma model’ contends that traumatic implicit memory/ies were dissociated or `split off’ from conscious memory and are recovered when they intrude.
⚫️Memories recovered in therapy represent a small proportion of the total recovered memory reports (Eliott, 1997; Wilsnack, Wonderlich, Kristjanson, Vogeltanz-Holm, & Wilsnack, 2002 cited in Dalenberg et al, 2012) Recovered memories tend to occur without warning and can certainly occur outside of psychotherapy or in its absence.

⚫️Strong, recurrent, and/or disabling, traumatic memories, including delayed onset recall (recovered) memories, may lead the person to become conscious of what they signify. While this experience can be destabilising at first, it can subsequently enable integration of the previously split off (dissociated) memory and pave the way for trauma recovery.

`BETRAYAL BLINDNESS’

⚫️’Betrayal blindness’, or ‘unawareness and forgetting’ has survival value. It stems from the concept of `betrayal trauma’, which assists understanding of how the `forgetting’ of early life abuse serves to preserve the attachment bond to caregivers on which children depend (Freyd, 1991) It also has wide application to a range of contexts: `Although there are various ways to remain blind to betrayal, perhaps the most effective way is to forget the event entirely’ (Freyd & Birrell, 2013: 58).
⚫️The `survival strategy’ of betrayal blindness applies to relationships in which dependence of some kind fosters the need to preserve the relationship and can `trump the need to take protective action’ (Freyd & Birrell, 2103, p.56)
⚫️’Not seeing’, `not knowing’ and `not remembering’ traumatic experience is not confined to children (`Adults are also prone to a kind of magical thinking …to gain a sense of control over overwhelming events’ (Chu, 2011: 34).

⚫️While `forgetting’ the trauma of betrayal (i.e. conscious explicit absence of recall as distinct from implicit memory of traumatic experience) potentially assists survival it can also threaten health if the trauma is not resolved.

THE DYNAMICS OF DISCLOSURE

⚫️The process of disclosing traumatic memory (i.e. when able to be spoken about, which involves a different area of the brain and depends on a number of contingencies) `is highly dependent on the reactions of others’ (Freyd & Birrell, 2013: 126).
⚫️`{M]ost people who experience childhood sexual abuse do not disclose it until adulthood, and many may never tell at all’ (Freyd & Birrell, 2013, p.123).
⚫️Disclosure is often not a single event, but rather a process affected by social context, issues of safety and the potential for adverse repercussions.

⚫️’Nondisclosure, delayed disclosure, and retraction are particularly likely in cases in which the perpetrator is close to the victim’ (Freyd & Birrell, 2013, p.123).

THE RELIABILITY OF MEMORY AND THE ROLE OF SOCIAL CONTEXT

⚫️Depending on the context and conditions, both remembering and `forgetting’ (i.e. in the explicit, conscious sense because `the body remembers’ [Rothschild, 2000] at an implicit level) can be healing and/or destructive
⚫️Social contexts and power disparities, as well as neurological factors, affect the encoding, retrieval, and reliability of memory: `[s]ocial power not only dictates what is appropriate to say out loud, but even what it is appropriate to remember’ (Barlow et al, 2017: 320).
⚫️’Both internal and external processes operate to keep us unaware’ (Freyd & Birrell, 2013: 95); `To the extent that it is not safe to disclose externally, it is not safe to know, or disclose internally, to oneself’ (ibid: 116).

⚫️’Contrary to the widespread myth that traumatic events are seldom if ever forgotten, much trauma is not remembered until something happens to bring it to mind’ (Brewin, 2012: 165).
⚫️Current research establishes that memory is not fixed and unchanging and that all memory -implicit and explicit -undergoes a degree of reconstruction. This does not mean that either is necessarily unreliable.
⚫️Research has shown that recovered (implicit) memory can be as accurate as continuous i.e. (explicit, conscious) memory (Dalenberg et al. 2012): `Memories that are recovered – those that were forgotten and subsequently recalled-can often be corroborated and are no more likely to be confabulated than are continuous memories’ (Chu, 2011, p.80 citing Dalenberg, 1996; Kluft, 1995; Lewis, Yeager, Swiza, Pincus & Lewis, 1997); also Dalenberg et al, 2012).
⚫️Numerous legal cases in various parts of the world have demonstrated that recovered memories have been verified and corroborated by independent evidence, admissions of guilt by perpetrators, or findings of guilt by courts. https://blogs.brown.edu/recoveredmemory/case-archive/legal-cases/

⚫️’The cognitive processes that underlie everyday memory are the same processes that lead to errors in processing traumatic memories…Like any memory , the availability of memory for traumatic events depends on how it is assessed’ (Barlow, 2017: 323, referencing Sivers, 2002).
⚫️Assessment of the reliability of memory must take account of a range of factors. These include the social context of memory, the possibility of betrayal trauma, the survival value of (explicit, conscious) `forgetting’, the impact of power disparities, and the centrality of emotional and physical safety around recall and disclosure.

To read the full paper The Memory of Truth and the Truth of Memory – Different Types of Memory and the Significance of Trauma; click here

To read our four summary Fact Sheets on Memory – Classification, Understanding Memory, Understanding Traumatic Memory, Recovered memory, click here

Logo from document. (2020).

RETRIEVED https://www.blueknot.org.au/Portals/2/Fact%20Sheets%20Info/Fact_Sheet_Memory_and_truth.pdf

Misconceptions becoming weaponised

For many of the CSA Victim-Survivours and their families, the misconception of ‘justified manipulation’ is making a major part of the bigger picture. In experiences of multiple forms of “only our student/family has to deal with this”, the similar deny-deny-deny veil has been used repeatedly throughout the different institutions (i.e. churches, schools, clubs & teams) to use fake-news to hide the truths.

Ron Miller. (2016).

Catholic, other denominations (e.g. Anglican, Baptist, Presbetarian, Methodist), Private Schools (e.g. GPS: ACGS, BBC, BGS, GT, NC, TGS, TSS; ), lawyers, justice dept., police (state + federal), schools (Private – notably same-gender), journalism (online, paid and social) and other interested bodies have each increased their POV.

PRAYBOY satire of iconic Playboy media

While broad scale requests were sent to noted Private Schools (SEQ-GPS & NSW), Legal Bodies and Institutions already mentioned – there has (expectedly) been minimal feedback. Although there have been relevant leaps in Blog statistics, countries and articles – relevant ABC and SBS News contact has been included:

  • Perhaps they are too busy adjusting for these earlier exploits;
  • the hand of god has sent a messenger;
  • they each promise their sorrow, never to repeat it again (again);
Tassos Kouris (2008)

These ‘different pieces’ are being combined in RCbbc’s posts, to explain to readers that their repeated use + reuse is all too common. While reuse of positives may be understood for ‘competitive gain’, ‘academic prowess’ and ‘scientific understanding’, the often (silent 🤐 ) ‘negative gains’ are also swept-under-the-carpet:

  • As harmful as this may be to our individual children,
  • it’s also gravely hurtful – when taking a step back,
  • realise one action leads to another (influence),
  • tweeks-adaptions made to allow greater deception +
  • seeing at the big patterns forming.

Preparation of final NRS stage

Having completed my initial NRS Experiences and Impact Statements (NRS Fact Sheet, 2019), it initially felt ironic that the most nerves I had felt was actually at the final stage: Apologies. Advice that has given earlier indicates that description of each individual instance, together with personal impacts from each of their ongoing effects supports the evidence throughout the Instances and Impact Statements. While I had previously had the wrong POV, that completing Instances and Impact Statements, my work would be over – taking a wider POV, it’s now clearer that each section confirms and complements related matters throughout the NRS Submission.

NRS icon

As exciting as all this may sound, the journey of its lodgement isn’t over. knowmore (Community Legal Service) is another body involved in the National Redress Scheme. There are also Senior Staff within Blue Knot, who are able to offer their advice into the fine-tuning/tweaking of the order, expressions, focus and editing of Preliminary NRS Submissions.

7-ways-family-members-re-victimize-sexual-abuse-survivors, 2018.

In working my way through some of the updated NRS data, I came across the following list of possible example list of impacts of CSA experiences (Describing Impact of your Application, 2019). In closer focus, it began to both horrify my and reminded me in the instance(s) that I’m drafting up a list of requested apologies. I also realise that I am ‘but one fish in the sea’ of previous CSA Assaults. Although I feel fortunate for the beneficial discussions I’ve had, my deepest request/suggestion goes out to any other Surviving-Victim of CSA: Seeking Help can be done anonymously! When you’re ready to take things further, Expert Guidance is available.

describing-impact-your-application (2019)
NRS banding

REFERENCES

Sex and Teenage Boys

Teenage boys, Author Bmdehan (CC BY-SA 3.0 Unported)

Bridget Sipera, a teacher at Camden Catholic High School in New Jersey, has been charged with sexually assaulting a male student less than half her age [1].  The two repeatedly had sex over an 18 month period.

Western society tends to view sexual activity among teens as part of the natural process of development.  We bombard teens with sexual images.  Discouraging sex seems repressive to us.

While we may be protective toward our daughters, some of us actually cheer our sons on.  Sex with a teacher is seen as the ultimate fantasy.

But there are serious dangers associated with early sexual activity.  And sex between an adult and child is as damaging to boys as it is to girls.

Risky Behaviors

Teens who engage in sex are likely to engage in risky sexual behaviors in adulthood [2].

They are more likely to have multiple sexual partners, and less likely to use condoms. This increases their chances of contracting a sexually transmitted disease or HIV, and having an unwanted pregnancy.

Ten million of the sexually transmitted diseases newly reported each year are acquired by young people between the ages of 15 and 24 [3].  It bears mention that the brain is not fully developed till age 25.

Sexual Addiction

Early exposure to sexual content can, also, give rise to sexual addiction [4A].

Best estimates are that 3% – 6% of American men suffer from sexual addiction [5][6].  However, women can fall prey to sexual addiction, too.

Sexual addiction can destroy relationships, compromise finances, and contribute to criminality.

Typically, sexual addiction is characterized by one or more of the following [4B]:

  • compulsive masturbation;
  • reliance on pornography and/or prostitutes;
  • an endless succession of meaningless sexual encounters;
  • use of fetishes in place of human interaction;
  • voyeurism/exhibitionism; and
  • sexual sadism or masochism.

Addicts persist in these behaviors despite the negative consequences.

In an attempt to better understand the underlying causes, some psychologists classify sexual addiction into categories [6].  These categories help explain why certain individuals are more susceptible to sexual addiction than others.  The categories can overlap.

They are:

  1. Biological – Most sexual addiction has a biological component. Where the biological component is predominant, fantasy can  supersede or replace relationships altogether.  Triggers must be identified and carefully regulated, so that the brain can be retrained to new neural pathways.  A sponsor who will hold the addict accountable for lapses can be beneficial.
  2. Psychological – This form of sexual addiction is a reaction to childhood abuse or neglect.  As many as 80% of sex addicts may fall into this category.  For them, sex has become a maladaptive means of self-soothing.  Their underlying psychological pain must be addressed before a healthy self-image can be re-established, more appropriate means of coping substituted, and the addiction overcome.
  3. Trauma-Based – This form of sexual addiction is the direct result of sexual trauma in childhood or adolescence.  Trauma drives the repetitive behavior.  To heal, the addict must first make the connection between such trauma and his/her acting out.  Suppressed feelings surrounding the trauma must be explored and resolved.
  4. Mood Disorder – Sexual addiction can co-exist with anxiety and depression (as well as lead to those).  Teens and young adults may use sex as a way of “managing” their mood disorder, and find themselves addicted to the sexual response.
  5. Spiritual – This form of sexual addiction is an attempt to fill an emptiness inside only God can fill.  As the philosopher/mathematician/scientist/theologian Blaise Pascal put it, “There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of each man which cannot be satisfied by any created thing but only by God the Creator, made known through Jesus Christ.”

That sexual addiction is a challenging and tenacious disorder does not absolve sex addicts of the harm they inflict on others.

We owe our sons better.

[1]  6 ABC Action News, “Camden Catholic High School teacher charged with sexual assault” by Trish Hartman, 8/27/20, https://6abc.com/camden-catholic-teacher-sex-assault-cherry-hill-new-jersey-bridget-sipera/6391338/.

[2]  Lifespan/Bradley Hasbro Children’s Research Center, “Early Adolescent Sexual Risk Behavior:  The Clinician’s Role” by Christopher Houck PhD, July 2010, https://www.lifespan.org/centers-services/bradley-hasbro-childrens-research-center/early-adolescent-sexual-risk-behavior.

[3]  Centers for Disease Control, “Sexual Risk Behaviors Can Lead to HIV, STDs, & Teen Pregnancy”, https://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/sexualbehaviors/index.htm.

[4A and 4B]  PsychGuides, “Sex Addiction Symptoms, Causes and Effects”, https://www.psychguides.com/behavioral-disorders/sex-addiction/.

[5]  The Recovery Ranch, “How Common Is Sex Addiction”, https://www.recoveryranch.com/addiction-blog/common-sex-addiction/.

[6]  National Center for Biotechnology Information, US National Library of Medicine, National Institutes of Health, PubMed Central, “Understanding and Managing Compulsive Sexual Behaviors” by Timothy Fong MD, November 2006, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2945841/.

[7] Sex Addict, “The Six Types of Sex Addicts” by Doug Weiss PhD, https://sexaddict.com/six-types-of-sex-addicts/.


RETRIEVED https://avoicereclaimed.com/2020/11/08/sex-and-teenage-boys/#like-11041

Covid-19: Are you concerned about wearing a mask?

Covid-19: Are you concerned about wearing a mask?

Covid-19: Are you concerned about wearing a mask?


— Read on royalcommbbc.blog/2020/09/05/covid-19-are-you-concerned-about-wearing-a-mask/

This is a very well-timed read, in this current COVID-19 age. Particularly those, whose health has been effected (e.g. CSA) may be extra vulnerable to the pandemic that’s already taking higher amounts of impacts. Although there will always be social disputes, COVID + CSA will never have a 😊 ending: 😳!

Fact sheets for COVID-19 (Coronavirus)


In response to the outbreak of COVID-19 (Coronvirus), Blue Knot have prepared some fact sheets to help members of the community, as well as health professionals take care of themselves and others during this challenging time.

Here at Blue Knot Foundation, we will continue to provide as many of our usual services as we can. As the health and wellbeing of our staff is our absolute priority we are rapidly transitioning our teams to working from home. We will still deliver all of our counselling services – Blue Knot Helpline and redress application support as well as the National Counselling and Referral Service supporting people affected by or engaging with the Disability Royal Commission. Our counselling services will maintain the high degree of professionalism, privacy and confidentiality currently provided. Should there be any disruptions to our services during this transitions, we anticipate that they will be minor and temporary. Our focus is for our trauma specialist counsellors to continue to provide the counselling, support and information currently provided through all the usual numbers and channels (see below for further information). 

We will also continue to disseminate our monthly Breaking Free and quarterly Blue Knot Review publications as always. Blue Knot will be additionally releasing new publications and fact sheets in the coming months, including resources related to caring for ourselves during the Coronavirus outbreak. 

Ongoing Counselling and Support Services 

Call 1300 657 380 Mon-Sun between 9-5 AEDT to reach our Blue Knot Helpline and redress services.

Call 1800 421 468 to reach our National Counselling and Referral Service (supporting the Disability Royal Commission) or go here and to find out the other ways with which you can connect with this service.

The Australian Government has released an official app with the information you need to know about Coronavirus (COVID-19).

Download from Apple App Store
Download from Google Play 
or visit www.australia.gov.au

The Australian Government has also created a new WhatsApp feature.

Message +61 400 253 787 or go to aus.gov.au/whatsapp in your web browser to get coronavirus information you can trust from the official Australian Government chatbot.

Whatsapp is available from the Apple Store or Google Play.

Please do what you can to look after yourself, stay connected and reach out when you need to.

Blue Knot Helpline 1300 657 380 Mon-Sun 9am-5pm AEST/ADST

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RETRIEVED https://www.blueknot.org.au/Resources/Fact-Sheets/COVID-19