Tag Archives: Relationships and intimacy

Advocating for the voices of victim-survivors of child sexual abuse

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AUGUST 18, 2023

A child can never give consent. The sexual abuse of a child is just that – abuse. This abhorrent crime must be called what it is and we need to begin with the foundations, by ensuring that the correct terminology is entrenched in our legislation.

We may not realise it, but the words we use when we speak about child sexual abuse have immense power. They can change our perception as a society about this issue, and they can either shame or empower a victim-survivor of this crime.

Our general discomfort with the topic of child sexual abuse has historically led to the use of language which deprioritises the safety of children in Australia’s legislation. The State and Territory laws are inconsistent in their definitions, with many states having referred to the ‘persistent sexual abuse of a child’ as a ‘relationship’.

Recognising the harm and stigma that this causes victim-survivors, The Grace Tame Foundation launched their â€˜Harmony Campaign’ in February 2022, which is aimed at making child sexual abuse laws consistent across all jurisdictions in Australia. The disparities around the age of consent, the definition of sexual intercourse, what consent is and grooming, as well as the language used to describe the crime, trivialise the experiences of victims and are often exploited by perpetrators.

The former Australian of the Year has been relentless in her pursuit of these changes, seeing success across the country in how State and Territory legislation refers to the crime. As at August 2023, the word ‘relationship’ has been removed nationwide from the heading of the criminal offence of the ‘persistent sexual abuse of a child’. This is a significant achievement, and the first step towards their aim of removing the word ‘relationship’ from all parts of the offence of child sexual abuse in every jurisdiction.

“Softened wording doesn’t reflect the gravity of the crime, it feeds into victim-blaming attitudes, eases the conscience of perpetrators and gives license to characterise abuse as romance.”The Grace Tame Foundation, Harmony Campaign

Grace Tame has been a powerful advocate for the voice of victim-survivors of child sexual abuse, reminding us through her tireless work that children deserve our commitment to protecting them from harm. Despite how confronting this crime is, we need to engage in public conversations in a mindful and trauma-informed way to remove the stigma surrounding the issue. With the Australian Child Maltreatment Study revealing that 28.5% of Australians have experienced child sexual abuse, this epidemic is not something that we can ignore. It may be difficult to speak about, but children need us to lean into the discomfort to both acknowledge the pain and trauma of victim-survivors and prevent more children from being abused.

With recent high profile media cases shing a spotlight on the issue of child sexual abuse we are currently experiencing an increase in the public conversation surrounding the issue, particularly relating to changes we need to make to current systems in order to protect children from abuse and exploitation. An increase in discourse means an increase in the need for a better understanding of how we refer to this abuse, and how that discussion impacts victim-survivors. The new reporting guidelines for media reporting on child sexual abuse, developed for the National Office for Child Safety (NOCS) are designed to keep the victim-survivor voice at the centre of this topic.

The work of The Grace Tame Foundation affirms just how important, and guiding, the victim-survivor voice is in shaping both our response to and perception of child sexual abuse.

Whether you have an active role in child protection, you’re a parent, you work in the child care sector, or simply as a member of society, we can all play an active role in supporting victim-survivors. And the easiest to do this is by engaging in meaningful public discourse using the most appropriate language. In 2016 ‘The Terminology Guidelines for the Protection of Children from Sexual Exploitation and Sexual Abuse’ were adopted in Luxembourg, establishing a global standard for terminology in relation to child sexual abuse. This is a helpful and comprehensive guide used by many organisations involved in working against this crime. ICMEC Australia has created a simple summary of these global standards for those who would like to start the process of better understanding the correct terminology.

We are encouraged by the achievements of The Grace Tame Foundation in championing the rights of victim-survivors of child sexual abuse. Every milestone that is documented in the media creates more public awareness of this crime. But their Harmony Campaign is not finished. Laws in most states and territories across Australia (except Victoria and Western Australia) continue to use the term ‘relationship’ in other parts of the offence legislation. Using trauma-informed language is essential in helping children feel safe and supported enough to report abuse and to recognise harmful behaviour. It takes champions like Grace Tame to share the victim-survivor voice. Now let’s work together to help her and other advocates remove the stigma that has surrounded sexual abuse and exploitation for too long.

If you, or anyone you know, needs help, find support services available here.

RETRIEVED https://icmec.org.au/blog/advocating-for-the-voices-of-victim-survivors-of-child-sexual-abuse/

Long-term Effects of Child Sexual Abuse (7)

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Relationships and intimacy

The sexual problems linked to child sexual abuse could be an entirely specific effect related to traumatic sexualisation, or could be contributed to by a wider constellation of disruption of interpersonal and intimate relatedness. Child sexual abuse involves a breach of trust or an exploitation of vulnerability, and frequently both. 

Sexually abused children not only face an assault on their developing sense of their sexual identity, but a blow to their construction of the world as a safe enough environment and their developing sense of others as trustworthy. In those abused by someone with whom they had a close relationship, the impact is likely to be all the more profound. A history of child sexual abuse is reported to be associated in adult life with insecure and disorganised attachments (Alexander 1993; Briere and Runtz 1988; Jehu 1989). Increased rates of relationship breakdown have also been reported in those exposed to child sexual abuse (Beitchman et al. 1991; Bagley and Ramsey 1986; Mullen et al. 1988). 

Mullen et al. (1994) found that their subjects reporting child sexual abuse were more likely to evince a general instability in their close relationships. Though those with histories of child sexual abuse were just as likely as controls to be currently in a close relationship, they were more likely in the past to have experienced divorce or separation. When asked about the level of satisfaction with their current relationship, those with abuse histories expressed significantly lower levels of satisfaction. The level of current satisfaction was lowest for intercourse victims. 

Relationship problems were also reflected in the evaluations of the quality of their communication with their partners. Less than half of the victims felt able to confide personal problems to their partner, and nearly a quarter reported no meaningful communication with their partners on a more intimate level, whereas only 6 per cent of controls took an equally negative view of their partners receptivity to their concerns. This perceived gap in communication at a deeper level rose to 36 per cent in those reporting child sexual abuse involving penetration. 

In this study, those reporting child sexual abuse were more likely to rate their partners as low on care and concern, and high on intrusive control. Interestingly, the deficiencies perceived in their partners as sources of emotional support by those with histories of child sexual abuse was not generalised to peer relationships where they were just as likely to report they had friends in whom to confide and with whom to share their troubles.

A community study of Australian women found similar results with a history of child sexual abuse adversely affecting the quality of women’s relationships in adult life, and increasing the likelihood of divorce and separation (Fleming, 1997, Fleming et al, in press). Women who reported a history of child sexual abuse were more likely to report their current partner to be uncaring and highly controlling, and to be dissatisfied with the relationship. Child sexual abuse appears to affect a woman’s ability to maintain intimate relationships by interfering with her capacity to develop her sexuality and trust in others. The results of this study also found that women with histories of child sexual abuse who found difficulty in forming satisfying intimate relationships did not, however, report an inability to form close friendships or to receive emotional support from friends. 

It is tempting to suggest that the experience of child sexual abuse at a vulnerable moment in the child’s development of trust in others predisposes to a specific deficit in forming and maintaining intimate relationships. The attribution of a lack of concern and a tendency to be intrusive and overcontrolling to their partners could be a product of these partners’ actual attitudes and behaviour, or could reflect primarily the expectations, interpretations and projections directed at the partner by these women with histories of child sexual abuse. Conversely, those who have been abused may be more prone to enter relationships with emotionally detached and domineering partners because their lowered self-esteem and reduced initiative limits their choices, or from some neurotic compulsion to repeat.

Self-esteem

Self-esteem encompasses the extent to which individuals feel comfortable with the sense they have of themselves (the self for self) and, to a lesser extent, their accomplishments, and how they believe they are viewed by others (the self for others). Robson (1988) wrote that self-esteem is ‘the sense of contentment and self acceptance that stems from a person’s appraisal of his (or her) own worth, significance, attractiveness, competence and ability to satisfy aspirations’. 

A number of studies have implicated child sexual abuse in lowering self esteem in adults (for review, see Beitchman et al. 1992), but the most sophisticated examination of the issue to date is that of Romans et al. (1996). This study showed a clear relationship between poor self-esteem in adulthood and a history of child sexual abuse in those who reported the more intrusive forms of abuse involving penetration. It was, however, those aspects of self-esteem involved with an increased expectation of unpleasant events (pessimism) and a sense of inability to influence external events (fatalism) that were affected, not those involved with a sense of being attractive, having determination, or being able to relate to others.

Long-term impact on mental health

There have been numerous studies examining the association between a history of child sexual abuse and mental health problems in adult life that have employed clinical samples, convenience samples (usually of students), and random community samples. There is now an established body of knowledge clearly linking a history of child sexual abuse with higher rates in adult life of depressive symptoms, anxiety symptoms, substance abuse disorders, eating disorders and post-traumatic stress disorders (Briere and Runtz 1988; Winfield et al. 1990; Bushnell et al. 1992; Mullen et al. 1993; Romans et al. 1995 and 1997; Fergusson et al. 1996; Silverman et al. 1996; Fleming et al. in press). A more controversial literature links multiple personality disorder with child sexual abuse (Bucky and Dallenberg 1992; Spanos 1996). 

Space does not allow a full review of the complex relationships between adult psychopathology and child sexual abuse but to illustrate the trajectory followed by such research in recent years, the literature relating a history of child sexual abuse to alcohol abuse in adult life will be briefly considered.