Dealing with suicidal thoughts

From LivingWell Services > Dealing with suicidal thoughts

Sometimes people come to our website because they are looking for personal help.

If someone asked you right now if you are having thoughts of suicide, what would your honest answer be?

If your answer is ‘yes’, this is undoubtedly a very difficult time for you. You don’t need to go through this alone. Help is available.

suicidal thoughts

It is not uncommon for men who have experienced child sexual abuse or sexual assault to have to deal with suicidal thoughts. An experience of child sexual abuse or sexual assault can have men feeling distressed and overwhelmed both at the time and at stressful times in the future. If suicidal thoughts are unchallenged they can convince a man that because he is doing it tough now it will always be like this. If there is time to talk about suicidal thoughts they can provide a clue to what a man holds dear, about certain connections he values and the dreams and aspirations he has for life. In order for such conversation to occur it is first important to make sure you are safe now.

Get Help

If you think you might harm yourself call for help immediately

  • Reach out to someone you trust and ask for help. Tell them honestly how you feel, including your thoughts of suicide.
  • Call 000 (police, ambulance, fire) or
  • Call Lifeline 13 11 14 or
  • Go, or have someone take you to your local hospital emergency department.
Thoughts of suicide? Call for help

It is important to understand suicidal thoughts

I felt like shit, like there was no way out. It wasn’t like my first thought but it was there in the background.

Remember that thoughts about suicide are just that – thoughts. You don’t need to act on them. They won’t last for ever, and often they pass very quickly. Many people who have had serious thoughts of suicide have said that they felt completely different only hours later. It is common to feel overwhelmed and distressed during difficult times or when it seems that things will never improve.

Things you can do to keep yourself safe

  • Seek help early. Talk to a family member or friend, see your local doctor, or ring a telephone counselling service.
  • Postpone any decision to end your life. Many people find that if they postpone big decisions for just 24 hours, things improve, they feel better able to cope and they find the support they need.
  • Talk to someone. Find someone you can trust to talk to: family, friends, a colleague, teacher or minister. 24-hour telephone counselling lines allow you to talk anonymously to a trained counsellor any time of the day or night.
  • Avoid being alone (especially at night). Stay with a family member or friend or have someone stay with you until your thoughts of suicide decrease.
  • Develop a safety plan. Come up with a plan that you can put into action at any time, for example have a friend or family member agree that you will call them when you are feeling overwhelmed or upset.
  • Avoid drugs and alcohol when you are feeling down. Many drugs are depressants and can make you feel worse, they don’t help to solve problems and can make you do things you wouldn’t normally do.
  • Set yourself small goals to help you move forward and feel in control. Set goals even on an hour-by-hour or day-by-day basis – write them down and cross them off as you achieve them.
  • Write down your feelings. You might keep a journal, write poetry or simply jot down your feelings. This can help you to understand yourself better and help you to think about alternative solutions to problems.
  • Stay healthy. try to get enough exercise and eat well – Exercising can help you to feel better by releasing hormones (endorphins) into your brain. Eating well will help you to feel energetic and better able to manage difficult life events.
  • See your local doctor or a specialist to discuss support or treatment. Discuss your suicidal thoughts and feelings with your doctor, talk about ways to keep yourself safe, and make sure you receive the best treatment and care.
  • See a mental health professional. Psychologists, psychiatrists, counsellors and other health professionals are trained to deal with issues relating to suicide, mental illness and well being. You can find them in the Yellow Pages or visit your GP or contact a crisis line for information.

Thoughts of suicide occur to many people and for a range of reasons. The most important thing to remember is that help is available. Talking to someone is a good place to start, even though it may seem difficult. Tell someone today!

Find help in your local area

If you’re feeling suicidal, getting help early can help you cope with the situation and avoid things getting worse. After you get over a crisis, you need to do all you can to make sure it doesn’t happen again. There are a number of sources of support in your local area. If the first place or person you contact can’t help, or doesn’t meet your needs, try another.

Where to get help

Lifeline Centres

Lifeline has centres all around Australia. Check their website for the centre closest to you, and for resources and information related to suicide prevention: www.lifeline.org.au or www.justlook.org.au.

General practitioner A GP can refer you for a Mental Health Care Plan. Look for one in the Yellow Pages, or contact your local community health centre.

Community Health CentresThese are listed in the White Pages.

PsychiatristLook in the Yellow Pages, or ask a referring organisation such as Lifeline’s Just Ask. To claim the Medicare rebate, you need a letter of referral from a GP.

PsychologistYou can find these through your GP, community health centre, the Yellow Pages or the Australian Psychological Society (APS). The APS provides a referral service on 1800 333 497 or visit their website at www.psychology.org.au.

Counsellors and psychotherapistsYou can find these through your GP, community health centre, or the Psychotherapy and Counselling Federation of Australia Inc (PACFA). PACFA have a national register of individual counsellors and psychotherapists available to the public at www.pacfa.org.au.

MenslineA 24-hour counselling service for men. Phone them on 1300 78 99 78, or visit www.mensline.org.au

Veterans Counselling Service

Support for all veterans and their families. Telephone: 1800 011 046, or visit www.vvaa.org.au

Headspace

A mental health website for young people up to age 25: www.headspace.org.au

Crisis Care

Gay and Lesbian Counselling and Community Services of Australia provides information and links to counselling services for gay and lesbian people. Telephone: 1800 18 45 27 or see the website for numbers in your state/territory, www.glccs.org.au

Who to call

For immediate support, when your life may be in danger, ring 000 or go to your local hospital emergency department.

ServiceNumber

National 24 Hour crisis telephone counselling services

Lifeline 13 11 14

Salvo Care Line1300 36 36 22

Kids Help Line1800 55 1800

Queensland

Crisis Counselling Service1300 363 622

ACT

Crisis Assessment and Treatment Team1800 629 354

New South Wales

Suicide Prevention and Crisis Intervention1300 363 622

Salvo Care Line02 9331 6000

Northern Territory

Crisis Line Northern Territory1800 019 116

South Australia

Mental Health Assessment and Crisis Intervention Service13 14 65

Tasmania

Samaritans Lifelink – country1300 364 566

Samaritans Lifelink – metro03 6331 3355

Victoria

Suicide Help Line Victoria1300 651 251

Western Australia

Samaritans Suicide Emergency Service – country1800 198 313Emergency Service – metro08 9381 5555

Note: Many of these services also offer interpreter services for those people who speak English as a second language (ESL).

Acknowledgement: This page was created with reference to the “Living is for everyone” publication Promoting good practice in suicide prevention: Activities targeting men produced by the Australian Government Department of Health and Ageing: 2008.

RETRIEVED https://livingwell.org.au/managing-difficulties/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts/

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19 yr delays and truth telling

Of serious concern amongst most communities is the frequent questioning of “well, why didn’t you tell us closer to when it happened?” (delay) and/or “how do we know you’re not making it up?” (truth telling). As negatively-impacting as each of these statements may be one the victim-survivour of Child Sexual Abuse, the fact that they’ve reached the point they are willing to speak of these past events and it’s receiving a defensive reaction of disbelief, only adds to their sorrow.

Now would be ideal timing to instigate Counselling, if the abused-child/adult has not undertaken this momentous step. Knowing that to make this fundamental leap, is of importance on many levels. Parental or Carer disagreement with this fundamental step, can have just as devastating effects on the surviving-victim of these abuses. Research has shown that children show more honesty, whereas the perpetrating adults frequently are lying, to claim their lack of guilt.

Having heard other Survivours get this response from their families AND hearing near-identical comments from my own family, these may be included in the Institutional-training of ‘Defensive‘ attitudes. Ironic, that these same churches preach to “love thy neighbour, as if their your own family” (Matthew 12:31) – yet disbelief of (finally) being told the reasons for years of sorrow are disbelieved is similar to ‘shooting yourself in the other foot’…

Planning for the Silly Season

Planning for the #SillySeason, with Medication & having an Action Plan are v helpful: prepare early! #MentalHealth #abcnews

Our world’s problem with the child sex trade!

From the images shown in this post, the issue of ‘child sex tourism’, ‘child labor’ & ‘child health’ is as important as our discussions of CSA: Child Sexual Abuse. From this information, it can be seen how easily predators switch out of one niche, changing to a seperate-devious niche. All solved, or problem’s getting deeper?

Gender-based abuse: the global epidemic has been reviewed by Lori Heise (Pacific Institute for Women’s Health, 1994). In it they include rape, domestic violence, murder and sexual abuse-as a profund health problem for women across the globe. Although a significant cause of female morbidity and mortality, violence against women has only recently begun to be recognized as an issue for public health.

SOURCE: v10supl1a09.pdf

4 thinking patterns and workplace sexual offences

Taken from Psychology Today. (Ref follows) …

Four thinking patterns figure prominently in the commission of sexual offenses in the workplace.

The pursuit of power and control.  A critical part of the perpetrator’s self-image is being able to dominate others.  He proceeds to do this as he pursues whomever he finds attractive.

A sense of uniqueness. Everyone is unique – physically, psychologically, and experientially. But the person who engages in sexual harassment, assault, or rape considers himself one of a kind.  Part of this self-perception is his certainty that he is irresistible to women, the answer to every woman’s desires.  When it comes to right and wrong, he makes his own rules.

Deception. These individuals are often extremely intelligent, charismatic, and talented.  Even people who know them well cannot conceive that they are even capable of exploiting others sexually. Such predators are masters of deceit.

An ability to compartmentalize and shut off fear of consequences. Perpetrators of sexual harassment, assault, and rape know right from wrong.  They are fully aware of the potential consequences of being apprehended.  They have an uncanny ability to ignore them long enough to do what they want, all the while maintaining a sense of invincibility. They eliminate considerations of conscience behaving as they please without regard to emotional, physical, or other damage they might inflict. When they are unmasked, their chief regret is getting caught with little or no remorse for the victim.  Instead, they regard themselves as victims because of the unpalatable consequences they must face.

As the issue of sexual predation in the workplace has become increasingly prominent, there are calls to provide employees with special training to minimize this behavior in the future.  Such training will not change the character (i.e., the thinking processes) of predators.  What it may succeed in is establishing clear policies and deterrents so that potential predators may be deterred from engaging in this extremely destructive behavior at work.

Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inside-the-criminal-mind/201712/the-thinking-processes-sexual-predators

4Corners joins the dots! (again)

Predators also make v similar comments, following events being discussed. #4Corners deny, deny, deny, …#sexualharrassment #sexualabuse Victims are also slow to report these events … #MeTooMovement

(Previously Tweeted via @treacl 12/11/18 during ABC 4Corners)

Fiddler update?

Of interesting note, that after the passing of (Anthony) Kim Buchanan has been confirmed, Michael Golding (music) has started to appear in Searches on this CSA-BBC site & Allan Bradley has (surprise surprise) been elevated in the Catholic Church Hierarchy.

Again, I am willing to travel to far distances to meet with any Old Collegian, for a simple exchange of ‘I know, I was there too’ & give anyone a special LivingWell Booklet. These are kept on many CSA Survivours’ bedsides, as they are particularly written for male Survival.

knowmore & CARC websites have great lists of Counsellors & Supports, throughout Australia. There’s also advice about many questions you have for the National Redress Scheme!

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Institutions training ‘resistance’

As shocking as it is, it is common amongst Institutions to have ‘the good of the many outweigh the good of the few’. By this it is meant that the power of numbers having more importance than an individual, counter to the ‘beliefs’ of many Institutions. Even families may side for their local club/church/gang, over claims of an individual!

While many parents-elders-leaders may disagree at these events, they are in fact what is known in Psychology as ‘Conditioning‘.

Further details uncovered

After meeting with another CSA Survivor of Buchanan’s behaviours in the 1980’s, more common traits have stood out. Following a similar meet with a CSA Survivor of Secondary abuse, resulting from Buchanan’s initial abuses, there is no wonder that Institutions (Churches, Schools, Teams etc) invest more in silencing this explosive tigers-dragons-mines!

Names of involved staff will soon be posted…

Reply

Brisbane-Ipswich Support Group

Following some recent News, Calls & Messages – Living Well has been suggested by knowmore as a suitable Mens focussed Support Group & their partners, friends and family and service providers. Material is starting to be collected, allowing for small gatherings of ‘Peers’ (other guys who survived similar ordeals). So far, responses have been made by Old Collegians of BBC & past students from Ipswich Grammar School is another known location of a convicted ‘Butch‘. Together with knowmore and Living Well, support and assistance is available.

Please send a WP Message, SMS 0410 277 791 or eMail treacl@icloud.com.

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